i’m just moreso highlighting the double standard/difference between how the criticism is view by & from the genders. it’s not about invalidating whatever criticisms women have of men, altho i do think some of the things women call ‘toxic masculinity’ are just the inconvenient flip side of the very same behaviors, ideologies, & thought processes that women find attractive/desirable…i had quite a few discussions in this vein with various women from relatives to casual acquaintances, and i’ve found that a lot of women do not have much appetite for trying to understand men generally if only maybe the men specific in their own lives (which one could argue is sensibly adaptive to the modern context…the only need to understand the men they are around)
i definitely agree that men need to evolve more to the landscape going forward, altho i’d argue that it will take women changing what they reward in the dating/mating marketplace for that to truly happen…because generally women value a man’s ability provide & protect almost universally as the paramount quality. most men aren’t in a position to ‘let’ their ol’ lady just pay a bill or two, it is necessity…similarly mans occasional washing of dishes or doing household chores for a lot of women doesn’t feel commensurate to the effort that women ‘feel’ they put in despite the fact that men today are both much more involved as fathers & chore doers than ever.
fact is women’s increase in agency has increased women’s selectivity, removed some of the male strictures that once guided (best case interpretation) of women’s desires, and the numbers seem to bear that out