- Jul 18, 2012
- 36,507
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I have been thinking about RKOing people at work all damn day standing over them yelling stupid.
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I have been thinking about RKOing people at work all damn day standing over them yelling stupid.
Did anybody find a sheep's mask man? I am trying to scare the kids tomorrow at school.
WWE is in need of remodeling.
A roster featuring young, promising talent finds itself up against repetitive booking patterns and hesitancy to allow new names on the marquee. When Cesaro told Liverpool Echo's Neil Docking, "I'm sick of seeing John Cena against Randy Orton for the 500th time," he was far from alone.
There's both a staleness and spark to WWE right now.
Men like Cesaro keep rapping on the door that separates the midcard from the main event. He is a key member of a group of wrestlers brimming with potential. Too often, though, WWE is not opening that door for men seemingly in line to be the next big thing.
The company took a huge step in a positive direction having Dean Ambrose and Seth Rollins headline Hell in a Cell, but there are other places to better entice a fanbase pining for the past, to move boldly into whatever era is approaching next.
The following is a look at how to best blend the emerging and established stars, to insert fresh faces into the spotlight and best use the skills of the men and women in WWE's employ.
The tag team division will get more of a focus. The Divas division will undergo a major overhaul that betters the chance for great in-ring action. The percentage of comedy characters will decrease.
The product will improve.
Cuts, Commentary Changes
NXT's top prospects are plenty ready to make the jump to the main roster. You can't just cram every talented wrestler down at WWE developmental into the roster without first making room, though.
That means taking out the rarely used wrestlers and the ones who don't contribute much.
You don't let benchwarmers stay on the team when there are talented prospects ready to be called up. That's bad news for the following Superstars:
The Great Khali
Fandango
David Otunga
Hornswoggle
None of those guys is going to help sell a show, improve ratings or help create great matches.
Sin Cara is fitting in well at NXT as one half The Lucha Dragons. Leave him there for now. He can help Kalisto develop and eventually come back to the main roster as a well-established team.
In the Divas division, ask the following women to leave:
Rosa Mendes
Eva Marie
Cameron
NXT has at least three women who have them beat in terms of both wrestling ability and mic work. WWE would still have a large part of the current Total Divas cast to utilize.
As for commentary, an easy way to make SmackDown feel like more than just a watered-down Raw is to change up the commentary team. John "Bradshaw" Layfield and Michael Cole don't need to work both shows. Let Byron Saxton serve as the play-by-play guy and have Christian come in to be the color guy.
If concussions have truly ended his in-ring career, there's no reason not to use his sense of humor and knowledge of the business.
The next order of business is directing both commentary teams to focus more on the matches. Quips and sidebars are welcome, but the men at the announce table's job should be to make folks care about the battles that are happening in the ring.
Tell the story of what victory would mean for each wrestler. Sell how powerful, crafty, agile, resilient or whatever each Superstar is.
Bullfighters No More
WWE already has The Bunny and Adam, Slater Gator and Damien Mizdow. The goofiness of bullfighters teaming with a miniature bull is overkill.
Besides, Eddie and Primo Colon's athletic skills are going to waste with that gimmick. It's hard to take them seriously despite how deftly they move about the ring and how well the fly from the ropes. It's smarter to strip them down to who they really are—members of a famed wrestling family.
Reverting back to their real names, The Colons would talk of being tired of being a sideshow.
To be taken seriously, they will from now on be more aggressive, more relentless and honor their family name. WWE can play up the Colon legacy, especially now that Carlos Colon is in the Hall of Fame.
Call Up The Ascension
NXT's longest-reigning tag champs are a marvel to watch.
They thrive as snarling predators, exuding intensity as they steamroll their foes. Viktor mixes mat wrestling into his brawling well, and Konnor's power would be a fun addition. They also have one of the more cohesive tag team gimmicks going.
They'd make great rivals for The Usos.
Jimmy and Jey have looked their best against the bruising Wyatt Family. The Ascension employs a similar style and showed against The Lucha Dragons that it works well with high-flyers.
The tag division gets new blood and instant viable contenders for the titles by promoting these warriors.
The New Brothers of Destruction
Mark Henry and Big Show are at odds now, but the tag team division is the ideal home for them. Have them go through a short feud, pummel each other and then hug it out afterward. Even after bloodying each other in macabre battles, Shawn Michaels and Triple H reunited.
The two behemoths never truly got a chance to contribute to the tag division. Injury and a feud with Rusev interrupted them.
They can serve as the star-studded dominate force that helps legitimize the division. And if The Ascension eventually knocks them off, the newcomers' resume gets a major boost.
magining the kind of brawls those two squads would have is enough to get one's mouth watering.
Other Notes
Heath Slater and Titus O'Neil can morph into faces over time. Slater is too likable and charming (in a goofy way) for WWE to not test him out in that role.
Have them be the lucky underdogs. Their wins can come in the flukiest ways possible, miracles occurring every so often.
Highlighting Kingston and Big E's alliance is smart too. Working as a thunder-and-lightning team is a good way to use their skills. Plus, Xavier Woods looked good as their manager when the faction was getting started.
To better showcase the division as as whole, dedicate Battleground (an event with no traction at the moment) to a tag team tournament every year. The winner would get a trophy and bragging rights for a year similar to the King of the Ring.
Load Up from NXT
Fans who watch NXT regularly can see the talent gap between that show and the main roster when it comes to the females. It's the developmental brand that consistently outshines the big leagues, though.
Bayley is a fun character armed with an aw-shucks charm and the best entrance at NXT. She's been entertaining in the ring, both in terms of wrestling and showmanship.
Sasha Banks would challenge for the top spot in the Divas division if she were to get called up today. She's a masterful ring worker who works her catty/arrogant heel gimmick effectively.
Charlotte is right behind her in terms of ring skills. Continuing her rivalry with Natalya means that we get to see the women who delivered the best WWE women's match in ages go at it again.
Better Use of The Bellas
Notice the exclusion of two twin sisters and Summer Rae? That's by design.
Nikki and Brie Bella have improved in the ring. They still aren't as good as Paige, Natalya, Banks and others, though.
Why keep giving them all this spotlight when the best we can hope for is what we saw at Hell in a Cell—a pretty good match?
Instead, make use of their looks and name power by having them be other folks' allies or valets? Nikki would fit right in as a full-time member of The Authority. Brie can stand in Daniel Bryan's corner when he returns.
Summer doesn't appear ready to be a full-time wrestler yet. Have her be part of The Miz's entourage instead. After all, they starred in the same movie.
Other Notes
If the WWE treats the Divas division like a bathroom break the fans will take it as such.
We've seen flashes of what these women can do when given a story and ample ring time. That's the way to make use of their skills.
Don't limit them to two-minute matches. Don't try to work in Total Divas storylines. Treat the division as you would the male side of the roster, trying to create memorable narratives through great wrestling.
Notes
Everyone of these guys is talented. Otherwise, they wouldn't have made it this far.
Every ecosystem needs its prey, though.
They each have something missing, be it mic acumen or "it" factor. They can all go in the ring, especially in an attempt to make other guys look good. This is a fluid category, and if somebody catches fire as Ryder did in 2012, he gets moved up.
Otherwise, these are the men who struggle to win.
Revert R-Truth back to his crazy self to make him more entertaining. Have Dallas be the easy win on the schedule. There's just something incredibly satisfying about seeing that smug face go sour after a loss.
A Monster Set Free
Now that Harper is no longer tied to Bray Wyatt, WWE can make full use of his brawling skills and size.
He looks and moves like a monster. It's best to book him that way.
Have him care more about hurting people than winning. That means instead of the standard winning streak that monster heels go on, he goes on a run of losses, getting disqualified for putting his foes through tables for cracking a steel chair over his back.
He can be a whirlwind of mayhem that even The Authority struggles to stop.
Along the way, let him have a slobberknocker or two with Swagger. That promises to be a fun battle.
Orton Takes a Step Down
Moving The Viper to midcard status isn't a condemnation of him; it's a way to offer something different.
He can feud with a host of different rivals and boost the Intercontinental Championship's prestige by just contending for it.
In addition, placing him allows WWE to act as the benchmark for emerging stars and newcomers. Put Zayn and Neville from NXT in there against him. See if Ryback can handle a marquee spot by having him take on The Apex Predator.
At the very least, fans are assured a variety of fresh matches, many of which should be tremendous.
Other Notes
Tyson Kidd is United States title material. He's a fantastic athlete who puts on great matches. His current gimmick is making him more interesting by far.
Rusev should hold that championship as well. It's a logical step for him after plowing through so much of the roster.
Ryback could be a top-tier babyface. He's improved his mic skills and was at one time a red-hot commodity. Try him out as a rising face again. Let the Intercontinental Championship be the route to take him upward.
The midcard champs won't be suffering as many non-title losses either. When someone is champion, he will be presented as if he is hitting a peak. It should represent a hot point in his career where he is his most untouchable.
That way when a titleholder finally does lose, it will have far more impact
Never Give Up
John Cena winning big matches, world titles and main events is as common on WWE programming as adultery is on soap operas.
He's a massive star with a fantastic resume of classic matches. You can't slide him out of the spotlight, but you can't rely so heavily on him either. The sight of him atop the company is old.
Rather than have him tell the same story he's been telling have him go on a tailspin.
Make his next year an odyssey of personal discovery. Let him lose to Brock Lesnar and then just keep losing. All the opponents he once owned would now soundly defeat him.
Cesaro, Damien Sandow, Ryback, Henry and Harper all contribute to his losing streak.
The story then becomes about his struggle to avoid disappointing himself and his fans. He questions his "never give up" mantra at one point.
Then let him climb back up. He can retrace his steps, demanding to face the opponents he did in the early parts of his career. He takes on Big Show, Chris Jericho and Rob Van Dam as he tries to cycle back to normalcy.
Ziggler's Redemption
As often as The Showoff has stolen the show, it's hard to understand why WWE hasn't moved him up to the top rungs.
He may be looked at as snakebit, liable to get another concussion at any moment, but every wrestler is one wrong away from his or her career ending.
Ride him while you can. He's a stellar in-ring worker able to make every match seem like one of the bigger ones on the card. His interviews have improved dramatically recently as well.
His current tension with The Authority is an ideal way to elevate him.
Lead up to a Triple H vs. Dolph Ziggler match at WrestleMania by having the COO reveal that he was behind Ziggler's career slide last year. He was the one who hired Swagger to give him a concussion. He was the one responsible for putting him in ridiculous gimmick matches and keeping him away from big opportunities.
You then have one fresh bout lined for WrestleMania.
WWE Title/WrestleMania 31 Plans
The goal should be to get the most out of Lesnar's title loss. Have him knock off a number of tough opponents and finally lose at WrestleMania.
Lesnar can take on Cena at TLC. Ryback, fresh off a hot streak, could be next at the Royal Rumble. To boost The Big Guy going forward, have him push Lesnar in that match. After The Beast Incarnate wins, he could surprise us all by shaking Ryback's hand in respect.
Orton could get the next shot at Fast Lane, The Viper's last chance at the title for a long while. That's a fantastic match in the making.
Then it's Cesaro's turn. The Paul Heyman tie-in makes it a ready-made story. The hard-hitting brand of wrestling both men bring makes it a potential classic.
WWE needs to take a chance on a new guy. It's tiresome to see the same small slice of the roster win the top prize. Cesaro's surging popularity and topnotch mat work make him a viable candidate for world champ.
That has WrestleMania 31's top match set.
Add Ziggler vs. Triple H, a return to the Ambrose vs. Rollins feud, have Sting's farewell match be against Wyatt (especially if The Undertaker isn't healthy enough to go) and pit Cena against Bryan. That covers the top of the card even if The Rock doesn't make it back.
It's a lineup that relies on star power but works to build new stars. That should be WWE's goal in the next year, to push a new generation onto center stage, to work toward creating another golden age, risky moves and all.
^^^ Man I hope whoever wrote all that gets paid for it cause if not son needs some punani badly b
Didn't read
Side Story:
I was at the Penn State vs Ohio State game this past weekend and some dudes were being drunk pricks and were trying to fight. Long story short, I hit them with the Orton/Okada pose with my arms out and head facing the sky closing my eyes and said "hit me". Man I have no idea what possessed me to do that Every time I get in a drunk scuffle I always put my arms out like Orton
I was blazed in Turks and Caicos and did the Orton pose for a photo
I was blazed in Turks and Caicos and did the Orton pose for a photo
Hahaha, I was hammered on somebody's roof a couple summers ago and did the Orton pose in a Bucks throwback as well...
I take it you haven't seen The WireI always pictured you as a bald black guy wearing a headband...
you will forever be black dude wearing a headband in my eyes. idc idc idc idcI take it you haven't seen The WireI always pictured you as a bald black guy wearing a headband...
Hahha it's like people thinking Shaun is Method Man.you will forever be black dude wearing a headband in my eyes. idc idc idc idc
SDublno clue who Shaun is but i envision this guy typing out paragraphs of wisdom
Hahaha, I was hammered on somebody's roof a couple summers ago and did the Orton pose in a Bucks throwback as well...
Phil Brooks with his hair short when I grow my beard out a little.Speaking of what we look like, what wrestler (past or present) do you think you most resemble?