Why Men Need to Cheat

[moneymike88]

Originally Posted by VeintiSiete

Originally Posted by ksteezy

Originally Posted by SpeakUp23

Another thing............. I find nothing wrong with people (men) subscribing to the "men aren't meant to be monogamous" idea. Ok fair enough. What I don't understand and can't condone are dudes who GET INTO A MONOGAMOUS RELATIONSHIP, cheat and then use the "men aren't supposed to be in a monogamous relationship".

If you are about that "men aren't supposed to be in a monogamous relationship" life, then why get into one in the first place?

Nothing more than a last resort cop out in order to not man up to the harm you've just caused.

basically.

cant have your cake and eat it too, fellas.

  

Yes you can...The 3 of you sound like cackling *!!%%#

 

[blade br0wn]

P4L

 

[HEATHEN]

Originally Posted by ShadyKay NT

A woman wrote this article...how does it have any validity?

dude you must be the stupidest NTer...Bravo...
a lot of insecure "men" up in here. bunch of pseudo-alphas.

 

[HEATHEN]

Originally Posted by moneymike88

Originally Posted by VeintiSiete

Originally Posted by ksteezy



Nothing more than a last resort cop out in order to not man up to the harm you've just caused.

basically.

cant have your cake and eat it too, fellas.

  

Yes you can...The 3 of you sound like cackling *!!%%#

and you sound like you're going to die alone while some other dude got the love of your life on his old %$+ sack.

 

[speakup23]

Originally Posted by moneymike88

Originally Posted by VeintiSiete

Originally Posted by ksteezy



Nothing more than a last resort cop out in order to not man up to the harm you've just caused.

basically.

cant have your cake and eat it too, fellas.

  

Yes you can...The 3 of you sound like cackling *!!%%#

What makes you think you can have your cake and eat it too?

Man gets into MONOGAMOUS relationship, cheats, "men aren't supposed to be monogamous". How stupid does that logic sound? 

Once again there's is nothing wrong IMO with the "men aren't supposed to be monogamous" as long as your are staying out of monogamous relationships. Some of you guys are just using that saying to justify your trife behavior, ultimately $@*!%!+ #%+@ up for me down the line creating these woman-scorn type chicks

If you chose that lifestyle, and are lonely, get a dog.

 

[veintisiete]

Originally Posted by moneymike88

Originally Posted by VeintiSiete

Originally Posted by ksteezy



Nothing more than a last resort cop out in order to not man up to the harm you've just caused.

basically.

cant have your cake and eat it too, fellas.

  

Yes you can...The 3 of you sound like cackling *!!%%#

You're upset, but im unsure as to why

 

[ksteezy]

Originally Posted by moneymike88

Originally Posted by VeintiSiete

Originally Posted by ksteezy



Nothing more than a last resort cop out in order to not man up to the harm you've just caused.

basically.

cant have your cake and eat it too, fellas.

  

Yes you can...The 3 of you sound like cackling *!!%%#

What's your logic behind that??...are you saying is morally right to sneak around behind your spouse and cheat?...because the urge for sex is that natural?...if you can't avoid your promiscuous ways, there is a simple solution, stay single.

 

[jking0821]

Posting to use this in arguments.  Completely agree with Dr.

Men who don't believe in monogamy get into monogamous relationships because there are no open relationships.  I'm sure of every relationship out there 3% of them are open.  Now i see a hot girl and want an open relationship with her.....not gonna happen more then likely.  So what do you do....approach and ask? Date a bit and ask? Sleep with her then ask?  All of this will be "leading them on" or "cop out" no matter what you do.

The dr said it:

we can keep one emotional lover and just have casual, meaningless -- and hot -- sex with strangers. This gives us the long-term emotional stability we desire psychologically, alongside the hot, carnal sex we desire somatically. It makes much more sense than lying and cheating , or the difficulty of breaking up with a loved one simply because you want someone else's body for an hour.
You can find that girl that fits you mentally.  But any action (sex) will get repetitive and boring after long enough.  And unless you are a man with a low sex drive or just fap a ton you some times want something else.  But that doesn't mean you don't love your partner.

Its a lose-lose for a guy who believes this philosophy.  There is no convincing some one they are right or wrong.  Call it selfish, call it wrong. call it immoral, call it lack of self control, i don't care.  If i had more self control i would be the healthiest person on the planet who is in tip top shape who never faps or has immoral thoughts.

 

[ksteezy]

^^ so in that same matter you would be perfectly ok with your girl/wife to have all sorts of penises on her face regularly as long as she is only mentally/emotionally connecting with you?...if that's ok with you and you find a woman that's ok with it and you both have that understanding, then be it, as long as you both are happy.

 

[jking0821]

Originally Posted by ksteezy

^^ so in that same matter you would be perfectly ok with your girl/wife to have all sorts of penises on her face regularly as long as she is only mentally/emotionally connecting with you?...if that's ok with you and you find a woman that's ok with it and you both have that understanding, then be it, as long as you both are happy.

Honestly yes call me crazy

My dream life is to have an emotional and mental attachment with a women (wife).  And an individual on the side that i have the exciting sex with.  I want this girl to also be married so we have an understanding that its just sex don't want any feeling involved.  And i would want my wife to do the same.  But i wouldn't want either of us to know about the others jump off.  It may sound dumb.  But that would keep me excited her excited.  We could have sex with each other but we always have that fun excitement on the side, it would keep the marriage fresh. .  Ignorance is bliss

 

[finnns2003]

 

[witnesskb24]

Half the dudes in here supporting cheating are the same ones who flame others for cheating in different threads....irony?

 

[dior paint]

Ain't even read the first post yet but let me just say this before I do:

I can't speak for every man in the world... but for me...I can't just have sex with one woman. I can't.

I tried. I just can't. Even if a girl is A+ in the bed...eventually I'm going to get tired of having sex with her and the thrill of new vagina will be too much to resist.

I have no control over this.

 

[gentry187]

Cheating on the wife then coming to a nice home cooked meal =

 

[illwill24]

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\
Stopping off at the nearest mcdonalds bathroom to wash your **** off before you walk into said "nice home" = 

 

[illwill24]

I dunno how Will and Jada do it, but it's hard for a woman to love you and #$%% other guys. They just aren't wired like that, so even if you try to have an open relationship it just won't work because women have these things called feelings and they act on them, so trust and believe even if she says it's ok today, prepare to pick you clothes off the porch tomorrow.

 

[defyant 1]

I think NT needs to have every posters age visible. B/c a lot of clowns in here need to get off of their soapbox. To all the dudes who say - cheating is wrong, why get into a monogomous relationship, etc... are either
a. lucky they have a girl b/c no other chick would want them...or
B. have never been in a relationship before and are talking out of their 17 year old @%$+*

I completely agree w/ the good Dr. . I have been in a relationship for the past 3 yrs with a beautiful, smart, caring, classy young women. But i do find the need to be with other women. The sex with my girl is vanilla at best, but i love her and she loves me. I know she has my back and vice-versa, both emtionally and pyshically. However, that doesn't mean I dont get boners for other chicks and would give them the corporation, business and the LLC if they wanted it. When im with other women there is not emotional connection at all, it is pure sex; just two hot bodies enjoying each others bodies. Period. Usually, when its over im thinking, GOD..im glad i have a good , stable girl at home.

 

[Gill Baka Esq. LLC.]

I stopped subscribing to these gender roles we need to play....my motto is don't settle...you feel theirs something better out there go for it but just end the damn relationship before you do. I'm super empathetic so I don't have the fortitude to do someone dirty like that.

If I find the right one I don't need to cheat.

animals cheat. I stopped being an animal a long time ago.

 

[toliveanddieinnj]

I think a large component of sex that is overlooked is the fact that, when a woman has sex, she has to let you into her body. It has to be more emotional for them. Just think about when youre with a gf you've been with a while, and you have one of those accidental quick nuts and she couldn't careless that she wasn't brought to orgasm bc the act is satisfaction enough. I bet there are bonding chemicals released for women, that aren't at the same level for men. When you date a chick for a long time, sex is no longer what its about. You can go a week and be like oh man, we haven't smashed, and then just do it like its work, you also can still surprise each other and be hot. You sometimes will just do it bc she wants it and vice versa.

Whereas with someone new, the first 5 times are so exciting, figuring out what each other likes, doing everything in your power to knock her socks off so to speak. I think thats what leads to cheating. Its no the sex act, but the circumstances. If we could get that tingle a new relationship brings all the time, it'd be all good. And while I'm sure there are couples that have that everytime, most ppl don't. I can't even remember the last time my gf and I kissed passionately for 40mins, but anytime you're with a new chick that's what happens.

However I think the major issue w/ this article is that idea that men cheat and women don't and or don't have the desire. I know plenty of couples that both do each other dirty and it's all part of the game. As much fun as it is for a guy to explore every inch of a chick, it's the same for her. In the end, we are all flawed creatures. There is no explaining life.

 

[iheartboost]

Really good read.

Originally Posted by TheAfricanDream


Most of the men in your study were OK with sex on the side for them, but not their girlfriends. That seems unfair and incredibly selfish.

Monogamy is culturally compelled, so the decision has been made for us. How much of a chance would a man stand to have a second date if on the first date he said that he was interested in an open relationship? At the point men enter into relationships they, too, think they want monogamy. It's only after being in a relationship for months or years that they badly want sex with others. But by this point, they don't want to break up with their partners because they have long-standing love. Instead of chancing that love by asking for extradyadic sex, they cheat. If they don't get caught (and most don't) it's a rational choice.

Originally Posted by TheAfricanDream


You say love is a "long-standing sense of security and comfort." So, wouldn't open relationships potentially pose a threat to that security since, even if couples play by their own sexual rules, there's always a chance one could end up preferring a new lover over one's partner?

People in open relationships structure their engagements as to reduce emotional intimacy. But, yes, of course it can happen. What I find from those in open relationships, however, is that once they have had sex with that person they fancied, they tend to get over them. 
If we really want to prevent our lovers from developing the lust of others, or worse, emotional intimacy with others; if we really want to prevent men and women from cheating, we would be best to sex-segregate our jobs, our classrooms and social arenas, too. Emotional intimacy is the real threat to a relationship, not a one-off hour with a stranger from Craigslist. Ultimately, there are no guarantees that one's partner won't find love elsewhere. But controlling one's partner to prevent it only makes matters worse -- it makes them want to leave you. A better strategy is to be open, emotionally and perhaps sexually, too.

I kinda of disagree with this statement.
I do believe some men can get over a women after having sex with her, because to us sex is just sex, there is no emotional attachment to it, we don't fall in love after or even after a couple of sessions, we just move on to the next girl. For women though, sex is heavily based on emotional security. When women have sex they tend to get emotionally attached, the feeling of it, the nature of you penetrating, the vibe between you and her during it, all of that plays into her heart, mind, body and soul. It could be that one time, but give that women 2, 3, 4 or 5 more times with that guy and she can feel locked in with him. Before you know it, your open relationship for you (the man) was just a hit it and quit it, and for her, she's telling you that she's moving out. Now I'm not saying this cant happen to men either, but I think society or these 'authors' forget how women view sex. 

If after a few months (or even years) if you have to ask your partner about trying an open relationship, than you shouldn't be in a relationship period. Your partner should be the only one to satisfy you. If you're not getting it, or you're bored, don't string your partner around because you "love" them. That's not love, love is not based on how good the sex is.  

 

[dior paint]

Originally Posted by ToLiveandDieinNJ

 In the end, we are all flawed creatures. There is no explaining life.

 

[fog]

Originally Posted by MoonMan818

Men cheat because we want some new +!+*# every now and then.

That's what they're paying these PhD professor to research? $#!%+ go find the cure to cancer or somethin.

You're pretty ignorant, aren't you?

 

[Rootin4EverybodyBlack]

Monogamy is nothing but a social and *opens can of worms* religious construct.
Even when you're not in a monogamous relationship and you're just "F buddies" with a girl, after a while you get tired of having sex with her.  Am I lyin' ya'll?

There's no reason as men we should have to limit our sexual desires so greatly, as long as we are doing so responsibly (using protection).

Any grown man knows the difference between the woman who stimulates his mind, heart and soul.. and the woman who only stimulates his johnson.

 

[goldenchild9]

Y'all not even dealing with nature or reality.

There is a reason that incidences of infidelity, divorce and cheating are skyhigh. Its because we are trying to live up to unrealistic Protestant ideologies.

There are more women than men first of all (automatic imbalance), we have different hormonal and internal chemical reactions, which dictate different behavioral patterns, healthy men can reproduce until death...women lose that ability (along with much of their sex drive) 3/4s into their life...etc. etc. etc.

Now that's not saying that we need to live like animals and just go out there humping and dumping but as so-called civilized and self defined modern "men", we need to create family structures and realistic relationships that actually work. Too many people have this idea that humans must inherently have monogamous relationships, when thats really not the case.

All the beautiful, interesting and attractive people in the world and I'm just supposed to give myself to one woman for the rest of my life?....I don't see it.

I'm a strong supporter of contractually bound polygamous relationships.

 

[Hahahaha]

If you can't commit, then don't be in a relationship. It's that simple, I don't want to hear that natural BS, that's a poor excuse. I've had three serious relationships and have never cheated, have the urge but it's about being strong and disciplined. If I want to hit mad women, then I'm a be single