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- jesus. i swear, Method Man's true identity is the biggest mystery on NT. im betting when we finally do find out who Meth is he'll be a black Benjamin Linus moderating from the islandOriginally Posted by seasoned vet
People tend to come up with incredibly convoluted answers, ripped from soap opera scripts and cheap novels.Originally Posted by Method Man
There's a distinction to be made between in-group and out-group that most are already familiar with. You can often get away with calling friends and family members an insulting name because a shared understanding exists between you. If I, on the other hand, attempt to use this same insult as an outsider - even if I do so within moments of your invoking the term - it's far more likely to be interpreted as offensive or, at the very least, presumptuous. Its use assumes a familiarity and connection that does not yet exist. You might tease a significant other by calling him or her stupid, but odds are you wouldn't allow a stranger to refer to them that way.
The irony of in-group/out-group with regard to otherwise offensive terms referring to race, gender, ethnicity, nationality, belief, etc. is the discomfort it creates for privileged groups. In a sexist, androcentric society, men are privileged. They're the social default.
You may have been exposed to the "doctor riddle," the typical response to which often proves this point:
"A young boy and his father were out playing football when they were caught at the bottom of a giant pileup. Both were injured and rushed to the hospital. They were wheeled into separate operating rooms and two doctors prepped up to work on them, one doctor for each patient. The doctor operating on the father got started right away, but the doctor assigned to the young boy stared at him in surprise. "I can´t operate on him!" the doctor exclaimed to the staff. "That child is my son!"
How can that be?"
For men to feel as though they're not allowed to use a term that women can places them in the unfamiliar role of the outsider. It seems to be this discomfort that so upsets Whites about their sudden inability to get away with using racial slurs. What was, once, a symbol of their power has become publicly contested territory as historically nondominant groups claim their right to self-definition and self-determination.
You may think it's wrong for Fred Sanford to call his son a dummy, but 1) obviously that doesn't give you the right to do it and 2) it's not your decision.
This is not to say that all or even most women would be fine with a woman they don't know referring to them - or any woman - by a term that has so long degraded women - far from it. Calling it a "double standard," though, is inaccurate. It's about choice, and the whole point is that it is NOT, in this case, a man's choice to make.
*highlights and copies Meth's post for any future N-word debate*