I WILL BE FORTHRIGHT AND EXPRESS THAT I DID NOT HAVE HIGH EXPECTATIONS FOR THIS FILM. I ACTUALLY THOUGHT IT WOULD BE 'MEH'. I HEREBY ESTABLISH THIS STATEMENT AS AN EXPRESSION OF CONTRITION TOWARDS MARVEL STUDIOS FOR MY LACK OF FAITH IN THEM. I RESCIND MY BLASPHEMY
VERY RARELY IS THE TERM 'FIRING ON ALL CYLINDERS' USED IN THE APPROPRIATE CONTEXT BUT I WOULD ARGUE IN FRONT OF A UNITED NATIONS PANEL THAT SPIDER-MAN: FAR FROM HOME IS FIRING ON ALL CYLINDERS.
THE MOVIE BEGINS WITH "I WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU" AND AN INCREDIBLY APPROPRIATE, THOUGHTFUL AND CLEVER USAGE OF COMIC SANS. IT'S USED TO INDICATE THAT THE MOVIE ITSELF EXISTS IN MEMORIAM TO TONY STARK. HE'S ON ALL OF OUR MINDS GOING INTO THIS MOVIE AND MARVEL KNOWS IT.
THE MOVIE INTRODUCES THE CONVERSATION BETWEEN BETTY BRANT (AMAZING WAY TO INTRODUCE THAT CHARACTER) AND HER COHOST IN ORDER TO PROVIDE CONTEXT FOR THE FUTURE OF THE MCU AND REASSURANCE THAT THINGS WILL BE FINE POST-ENDGAME.
BETTY BRANT TELLS HER COHOST (THE FANS) THAT IT'S TIME TO MOVE ON TO OTHER THINGS AND THE ERA OF THE PREVIOUS AVENGERS IS OVER.
THE CO-HOST (THE FANS) PROCEEDS TO PANIC AND ASK IF ANYONE HAS A PLAN. THIS CHARACTER ACTS AS A SURROGATE FOR THOSE VIEWERS WHO WONDER IF MARVEL CAN DO WHAT THEY DID FOR TEN YEARS FOR A SECOND TIME.
THIS MOVIES SERVES TO ASSURE US THAT YES, MARVEL WILL.
ZENDAYA WAS THE PERFECT CASTING FOR MJ. SHE IS OBJECTIVELY ONE OF THE MOST BEAUTIFUL WOMEN I HAVE EVER SEEN IN MY LIFE - INSIDE AND OUT. SHE IS EQUAL PARTS CHARISMA, CHARM, DORKINESS, GRACE, INTELLECT, HEROISM, AND AWKWARDNESS, AND THESE SERVE AS PERFECT ATTRIBUTES FOR PETER PARKER'S LOVE INTEREST.
IRON MAN'S GHOST PERMEATES THE VERY ESSENCE OF THE FILM. HIS IMAGE IS EVERYWHERE, AND SOMETIMES IT IS SHOWN SO BRIEFLY AND QUICKLY THAT I HAD TO WONDER IF I'D IMAGINED IT. IT TAKES US INTO THE MIND OF A BOY COMING TO GRIPS WITH THE LOSS OF HIS FATHER FIGURE.
JAKE GYLLENHAAL'S PERFORMANCE AS MYSTERIO ONCE AGAIN SERVES TO PROVE THAT SPIDER-MAN'S BEST VILLAINS SHOULD ALWAYS COME WITH A TWISTED FATHER FIGURE VIBE. OSBORN IN SM1, DOCK OCK IN SM2 AND THE PS4 GAME, VULTURE IN HOMECOMING (IF ONLY BECAUSE HE WAS HIS DATE'S FATHER), KURT CONNORS. PETER IS DISTRAUGHT OVER THE LOSS OF HIS BIOLOGICAL FATHER, UNCLE BEN, AND TONY (IN THE MCU) AND THEREFORE LATCHES ONTO PEOPLE WITH THE POTENTIAL TO BE FATHER FIGURES - OR THEY LATCH ONTO HIM.
I WAS AFRAID THEY WOULD MESS MYSTERIO UP. AS SOON AS I SAW HIM FLYING AROUND AND SHOOTING LAZERS IN THE TRAILER I WAS WORRIED. BUT THEY GOT MYSTERIO SO PERFECTLY RIGHT. THEY UPGRADED HIS TRADITIONAL THEATRICS IN ORDER TO MAKE THE CHARACTER MORE CONTEMPORARY. NOW HE COMES WITH AN ENTIRE CREW OF TECHNOLOGISTS AND WRITERS, AND AN ARMY OF HOLOGRAPHIC DRONES THAT CAN AND WILL KILL YOU. THEIR INTERPRETATION OF MYSTERIO'S POWERS OF ILLUSION HITS THE MARK SO WELL. HE CAUSED SPIDER-MAN TO BE HIT BY A ******* TRAIN.
SPEAKING OF SPIDER-MAN. MANY OF US WHO ARE FANS OF SPIDER-MAN ARE FANS BECAUSE WE RELATE TO THE CHARACTER OR SEE OURSELVES REFLECTED IN HIM. SPIDER-MAN AS A CHARACTER IS DEFINED BY HIS CONSTANT STRUGGLE TO KEEP HIS SUPERHERO LIFE SEPARATE FROM HIS REGULAR LIFE AND THE FACT THAT HE OFTEN FAILS - TO DISASTROUS RESULTS. HE IS YOU AND I, IF YOU AND I WERE TO PUT ON MASKS AND FIGHT MONSTERS AND ALIENS AND PSYCHOPATHS. A REGULAR PERSON WHO FEELS THAT HE'S IN WAY OVER HIS HEAD BUT KEEPS IT PUSHING BECAUSE IT'S THE RIGHT THING TO DO. MARVEL UNDERSTANDS ALL OF THIS
MARVEL EVEN ADDRESSED THE PERSISTENT GRUMBLINGS ABOUT HIS SPIDER-SENSE. WHEN AUNT MAY THREW A BANANA AT PETER AND HIT HIM I ALMOST BECAME ANNOYED. THEN AUNT MAY HERSELF WONDERS WHY HIS SPIDER-SENSE DOESN'T WORK AND WE END UP IN THE THIRD ACT WITH THE SINGLE GREATEST SPIDER-MAN FIGHT SCENE.
THIS WAS A GOOD MOVIE. THE MORE I WRITE THE MORE I REMEMBER AND UNDERSTAND SO I HAVE TO STOP NOW.
MARVEL YOU WIN
YOU WIN MARVEL
****
PS:
NICK FURY WAS A ******* SKRULL
MYSTERIO SNITCHED ON PETER'S SECRET IDENTITY TO THE WHOLE WORLD
J
K
SIMMONS
IS
*******
J
JONAH
JAMESON
hes byke. dont know how spideys world is going to look like since hes on front street. changes the whole spidey universe. 
