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From: David Thorne
Date: Thursday 21 May 2009 10.16am
To: Helen Bailey
Subject: Pets in the building
Dear Helen,
Thank you for your letter concerning pets in my apartment. I understandthat having dogs in the apartment is a violation of the agreement dueto the comfort and wellbeing of my neighbours and I am currentlysoundproofing my apartment with egg cartons as I realise my dogs cancause quite a bit of noise. Especially during feeding time when Irelease live rabbits.
Regards, David.
From: Helen Bailey
Date: Thursday 21 May 2009 11.18am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Pets in the building
Hello David
I have received your email and wish to remind you that the strataagreement states that no animals are allowed in the building regardlessof if your apartment is soundproof. How many dogs do you have at thepremises?
Helen
From: David Thorne
Date: Thursday 21 May 2009 1.52pm
To: Helen Bailey
Subject: Re: Re: Pets in the building
Dear Helen,
Currently I only have eight dogs but one is expecting puppies and I amvery excited by this. I am hoping for a litter of at least ten as thisis the number required to participate in dog sled racing. I have readevery Jack London novel in preparation and have constructed my own sledfrom timber I borrowed from the construction site across the roadduring the night. I have devised a plan which I feel will ensure metaking first place in the next national dog sled championships. For thefirst year of the puppies life I intend to say the word mush then chasethem violently around the apartment while yelling and hitting saucepanlids together. I have estimated that the soundproofing of my apartmentshould block out at least sixty percent of the noise and the dogs willlearn to associate the word mush with great fear so when I yell it onrace day, the panic and released adrenaline will spur them on to beingwinners. I am so confident of this being a foolproof plan that I intendto sell all my furniture the day before the race and bet the proceedson coming first place.
Regards, David.
From: Helen Bailey
Date: Friday 22 May 2009 9.43am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Pets in the building
David, I am unsure what to make of your email. Do you have pets in the apartment or not?
Helen
From: David Thorne
Date: Friday 22 May 2009 11.27am
To: Helen Bailey
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Pets in the building
Dear Helen,
No. I have a goldfish but due to the air conditioner in my apartmentbeing stuck on a constant two degrees celcius, the water in its bowl isiced over and he has not moved for a while so I do not think he iscapable of disturbing the neighbours. The ducks in the bathroom are notmine. The noise which my neighbours possibly mistook for a dog in theapartment is just the looping tape I have of dogs barking which I playat high volume while I am at work to deter potential burglars frombreaking in and stealing my tupperware. I need it to keep food fresh.Once I ate leftover chinese that had been kept in an unsealed containerand I experienced complete awareness. The next night I tried eating itagain but only experienced chest pains and diarrhea.
Regards, David.
From: Helen Bailey
Date: Friday 22 May 2009 1.46pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Pets in the building
Hello David
You cannot play sounds of dogs or any noise at a volume that disturbsothers. I am sure you can appreciate that these rules are for thebenefit of all residents of the building. Fish are fine. You cannothave ducks in the apartment though. If it was small birds that would beok.
Helen
From: David Thorne
Date: Friday 22 May 2009 2.18pm
To: Helen Bailey
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Pets in the building
Dear Helen,
They are very small ducks.
Regards, David.
From: Helen Bailey
Date: Friday 22 May 2009 4.06pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Pets in the building
David, under section 4 of the strata residency agreement it states thatyou cannot have pets. You agreed to these rules when you signed theforms. These rules are set out to benefit everyone in the buildingincluding yourself. Do you have a telephone number I can call you on todiscuss?
Helen
From: David Thorne
Date: Friday 22 May 2009 5.02pm
To: Helen Bailey
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Pets in the building
Dear Helen,
The ducks will no doubt be flying south for the winter soon so it willnot be an issue. It is probably for the best as they are not gettingalong very well with my seventeen cats anyway. .
Regards, David.
From: Helen Bailey
Date: Monday 25 May 2009 9.22am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Pets in the building
David, I am just going to write on the forms that we have investigated and you do not have any pets.
Helen