People who deal with chronic pain that are opiate dependent are dealt a horrible hand in life, add other forms of mental illness to the mix and it can be disastrous. My advice to you is try everything....therapy, acupuncture, massage therapy etc. If you don't have any structural reasons for your pain sometimes physical pain can actually be a symptom of psychiatry illness.
I was 19 and in nursing school, in great shape, great social life, ... then I got dealt an extremely bad hand lol.
It started with nearly dying from a rare lung defect. I had an extremely complex form of intralobary pulmonary sequestration. Basically I had a malicious aorta sized artery and bloodflow system in my right lung. Because the artery was so big and the blood pressure so high it got a tear and bled into my longs. I only needed to cough up large blood clots all day but it if the tear in the artery was any bigger I'd be dead instantly. Had to get half of my right lung removed in a 4 hour surgery. That was now 2 years ago and I still have lasting damage from the surgery.
My lung capacity is 50-55% at any given time, which actually isn't as bad as you would think, and I lost motor function of half of my right hand due to the 4 hour narcosis.
My balance is also still a bit off.
A few months after that the chronic leg pains started and they haven't gone away since. Every second of the day it feels like they're being crushed and blowtorched at the same time.
Opiates were the only thing that actually helped but even then the max dosage of Tramadol only made it somewhat bearable. Doctors wouldn't give me stronger opiates like Oxycontin due to my age.
As for mental illness a few months after the chronic pains I also started getting nightly psychotic attacks for a total of 4 or 5 times but they only lasted 3-4 hours and I was cleared of any mental illness because it was all very atypical. Drug interactions were also ruled out.
I haven't had any attacks like that for a year now but I still have peripheral hallucinations every day. Non-moving objects in my peripheral view start moving if I focus on them.
It doesn't really bother me except when I'm taking a dump and the doorknob starts moving around.
I've tried pretty much everytthing you can imagine. I don't even know what's wrong with me.
Specialists have ruled out a psychological cause for my pain. Not sure why but when I told them I lost sensation in half my lower leg but pinching it is like being electrocuted they immediately dismissed any psychological aspect.
I've now been referred to an elite team of doctors who try to diagnose unresolved cases. Basically like what Dr House does if you've ever watched House MD.
I'm excited to try a non-opiate alternative painkiller but trying to quit my opiates is the hardest thing I've ever done. Harder than trying to live with my conditions.
I had a period of depression when I had to drop out of school and the psychotic attacks started but I got therapy and anti-depressants and have been off them for a year. I stay strong and haven't cried once about my situation since.
I guarantee all the people saying ignorant stuff like "it's just willpower, you're weak" wouldn't last a day in my shoes. Addiction is not a joke and it's not something that is cured simply by having "willpowder". It messes with your brain, you can control your actions to a certain extent but you can't stop your brain from making you think about your addiction and that mental craving.
I need to figure out how to have fun socially sober. I'm literally one of these dudes at parties when I don't drink.
