I met this girl off tinder at the end of August. We went to the same college but I'm 26 and she's 22 (just graduated) so we didn't know eachother at school. I smashed the second night I saw her and we've been staying over at eachothers places 4+ times a week since then. It felt like a real relationship.
She had always wanted to be my GF but I always told her that after being in back-to-back relationships for the last 5 years I didn't want to put a label on anything. I was dating a few other chicks at first but it's only been her for the last 4 months. I told her if she wanted to start seeing other guys who would be open to a relationship that she should because she'd never have that with me.
On Christmas she had an (drunk) emotional break down where she told me she wanted to be my gf and couldn't keep seeing me if it was just FWB anymore because she cares about me too much. She got upset because I texted her, "all my friends are engaged or married except for me, I'm literally the only single one here", when I was at my friends Christmas party and that's what triggered it. She acted like it never happened the next morning.
A similar break down happened again on NYE where she said the same exact things. But what had set this one off is that she asked me to go get drinks with her and her brother on her brothers birthday and I said no because, "that's meeting your family and relationship stuff." Again, this really bothered her and she just cried at the bar on her brothers birthday because I didn't go with her but the next day she came over to talk about things and we fell right back into how we were.
Before this, we've literally only had one fight the entire past 6 months and it was when I went out with her and like 6 of her girlfriends on Halloween and it was just a mess. She ended up losing $60 cash I gave her and I got upset and was fed up with her friends so went home. It was a stupid fight but understandable, nothing big.
I stayed at her place on two Wednesday ago (Jan 27) because I was driving up to NY the next day. We went out for drinks that night and she asked me, "are you seeing anyone else?" I said no then asked her the same question. She said no. Then she said, "actually, yeah, but I still want to keep seeing you." I told her that was ok and I didn't blame her, it was the arrangement we had. But I asked her why she was telling me this because I assumed she was seeing other people the whole time. She said that she was only seeing me and she's woke up feeling completely in love with me so many times wanting to be my gf but with the events mentioned previously (xmas and NYE) she now realizes it's never going to happen between us and she's moving on. The reason she told me was because she felt guilty she slept with another guy and she cares about me. She said if it was me sleeping with other girls, she would want to know and that's why she told me. I really wished she hadn't told me but I was fine with it. Went home and smashed that night and the next morning.
Then, when I was away for the weekend. I realized I wasn't ok with it, and I caught feelings for her and wanted to be open to being in a relationship with her. Unfortunately, that's not what I said to her right away. I basically told her that she was right, she never will be my girlfriend, and if she is moving on, I should let her, I care about her and she deserves to be happy, I couldn't give her the relatiponship she wanted, etc... Basically reinforcing her decision. I told her I didn't want to say goodbye in person so I'd see her when I got back Sunday afternoon to talk.
So we met at a bar when I get back in town. I tell her, I know I said a lot, but I've really been able to think about things over the weekend and it never hit me until now but I care about her a lot, am not ready to stop seeing her, and not saying I'd be her bf right away, but I got closure from some things in the past and I'd be open to a relationship with her now. She told me she wishes I had told her this in the past months when that's literally all she wanted. But it was too late now and she made up her mind she was moving on even though she cares about me so much. I asked her if she liked the other guy. She said she didn't like him enough to stop seeing me but she had to start dating other people and being open to being close with them. She was "ruining herself" staying with me. We were both pretty choked up. She had to go to the bathroom 3 times in the span of 30 minutes. I don't know if she really had to pee or was just crying a little each time lol.
But towards the end of the discussion, she made it clear she wasn't changing her mind. I had said too much over the weekend and had hurt her enough already apparently. So I accepted her decision and she asked if I'd go to a store in the mall to return something with her. I went with her. We held hands on the way. Went to another store after and ended up making out in there. Then she asked for a ride back to her apartment but told me to stop in the circle instead of go park. She wanted to say goodbye right there. We kissed and talked a little more and I told her I wasn't gonna say goodbye to her in my car and I was coming up. She denied me probably 10 times because, "if you come up I know I'm going to **** you immediately and that's going to make this harder for both of us." After 10 minutes I start kissing on her neck/ear more and she tells me to go park lol. She turns music on in her bedroom as soon as we get up there we are naked in bed smashing. It was a really romantic session at first and then I went extra hard to make sure it was a solid performance if it was my last time (kissed all over her body, ate her out till she came, ****** her in positions we've never used before, etc...). I was very proud with how I put it down. Then we laid in bed and held eachother for a while. I then said I had to go because she knew I had a date with another chick. She asked if I'd stay and she'd cook me dinner but I said no. Then told her I'm not saying goodbye forever so I'll just goodnight. We had a big long hug with some kisses and I left. That was a week ago haven't heard from her since.
Tried to drunkenly text on Friday night when I was wasted (went out with [@=
https://niketalk.com/members/77141"daddy" "the man I love" and "obsessed" until 10 AM. Guy she was with in these snaps was a fat hispanic dude (looked to be in his 30s) with a gold chain and wife beater just yelling things in Spanish lol. I told her I saw her snapchat story and she says, "I'm kinda in a relationship but not really that what that is." I said, "I just got out of one of those" and she says, "That's what I'm trying to do smfh." However, the dude in the snaps seemed either crazy, about that life, or both. Plus she was just tongue kissing him in the snaps. I didn't want any part of it.
She thinks that I only want her now because she has other options. That may have been what triggered my feelings for her really coming to surface, and me being aware of them, but it's those feelings that are the reason I want to be with her, not because she's seeing others. She's a really pretty girl and she knows it. She won't have problems finding someone else. I mean she's already seeing someone else. She even told me she'd rather **** someone she doesn't care about than me right now because she has too many feelings for me it hurts her when she knows I'm not going to be her bf.
I was able to find her number again. I want to reach out to her. We never had any problems. I was really happy with her and I didn't just lose someone who was basically my girlfriend she was really my best friend in town too. We saw eachother a lot and texted eachother all day and it was never boring texts. I truly miss her and want to give it another shot.
I just don't know how to do it. The right way or time. Especially with Valentines day coming up I don't want to do anything for that day or simp at all.
The only thought I've had is asking if she wants to watch the basketball game together this Thursday and try to fall back in routine. But I'm not sure if that's too soon or even a good idea.
Basically, I know I'll see her again eventually and things ended very well where I'd have another shot in the future. But I want her back now.