So...You think YOUR life sucks? Fmylife.com

[club29]

www.fmylife.com

Today, I was taking the elevator down with a group of people. It stopped on the 2nd floor and I said "What %#!@%!$ can't take the steps from the 2nd floor?" No later, a kid in a wheelchair got on. FML

Today, I came into work with a new hair cut and so far everyone has asked me If I lost a bet. FML

Today, I came home early from work and discovered my husband wearing a black babydoll nightdress, black stockings and high heels... He says it helps him to relax. FML

My alarm was disconnected in the middle of the night, and I ended up missing a pretty big exam this morning. FML

 

[ricerocket1]

ha ha ha ha im go and check out that site

 

[ooiron manoo]

Today, after a late night at the bars, I stepped into my building's elevator with a Chinese man who was carrying a plastic bag. Without thinking I said, "Oooh, are you still delivering?" His response, "I live here." FML

NT'er, fess up:

Today, my girlfriend's guinea pig managed to go down her shirt. I have been dating her for 3 weeks and I haven't even kissed her yet. FML

 

[termanology27]

Today, I spent $400 at the stripclub and got 4 phone numbers. I as walked out of the club, I noticed it was ******-night. FML

 

[iluvjordanxi]

I know some are just plain ducktales and the reach just made it unfunny, not saying it was even funny in the first place.

 

[eghckk]

Today, my girlfriend went on an internet webpage called "How to confess to having an affair". FML

Today, I saw a friend in the street but he didn't see me, so as a joke I decided to ring him. He took his mobile out of his pocket, sighed and didn't pick up. FML

Today, I danced with a girl until the bar closed. We went back to my place. She had a penis. FM

Today, I had sex with a girl who cried out as she came "Forgive me Lord! Forgive me Lord!" FML

This site is funny. I'm callin ducktales on alot of thestuff posted on there tho.

 

[mytmouse76]

Today, I finally got the balls to walk out of class 30 min. early only to find that the back door was locked. As I stood there like an idiot trying to get it open, all 200 people in my class turned to laugh. My professor stared at me. I then walked back to my seat sat down and unpacked. FML

Today, my boss caught me playing games on the computer for 4 hours. My boss told me to feel free and continue, but to pack my stuff up and leave when I was done. FML

Today, I woke from last night after meeting the most amazing man, and after giving him a good morning kiss, roll out of bed to use his bathroom. After using his toothbrush, I go to replace it in his holder only to find not one, but several prescriptions for herpes in his unzipped toiletry bag. FML
http://niketalk.com/topic/149744http://niketalk.com/topic/149744

 

[ortega03]

Originally Posted by termanology27

Today, I spent $400 at the stripclub and got 4 phone numbers. I as walked out of the club, I noticed it was ******-night. FML

 

[angeleelee]

Originally Posted by eghckk

Today, I saw a friend in the street but he didn't see me, so as a joke I decided to ring him. He took his mobile out of his pocket, sighed and didn't pick up. FML

omg

 

[jawnyquest]

 

[apple windows]

So how many of these are NTrs

 

[oidreez]

damn some of these are sad lol

 

[iheartboost]

Today, I tried helping an old lady with her groceries. When I asked if she needed help she smiled. When I took one of her bags she yelled. I didn't know she was deaf. FML

 

[kneenoh]

Good find

*adds to google reader*

 

[jfmartimcdandruff]

Originally Posted by Club29

www.fmylife.com

Today, I came into work with a new hair cut and so far everyone has asked me If I lost a bet. FML

 

[dvsonm]

Today, I tried helping an old lady with her groceries. When I asked if she needed help she smiled. When I took one of her bags she yelled. I didn't know she was deaf. FML

Today, I found out my girlfriend's password for okcupid is "i_love_mike". My name is not Mike. FML

Today, I received an email invitation to a dating web site. It was from my father-in-law. FML

 

[april lee]

hahahhahhah, straight humor

 

[dylishis]

Today, I was having sex with a guy that I just met, and when I thought he was about to orgasm, he actually had an asthma attack. FML

Today, I finally got the balls to walk out of class 30 min. early only to find that the back door was locked. As I stood there like an idiot trying to get it open, all 200 people in my class turned to laugh. My professor stared at me. I then walked back to my seat sat down and unpacked. FML

Today, I tried helping an old lady with her groceries. When I asked if she needed help she smiled. When I took one of her bags she yelled. I didn't know she was deaf. FML

Today, my girlfriend asked if her friend Alex from high school could join in with us and we could have an amazing threesome. As a horny dude how could I say no...Turns out Alex is also a guys name. FML

 

[iheartboost]

Today, I had just opened up some porn on my laptop when my mom walked into my room, so I slammed the laptop shut. I didn't know the speakers continue to function after the laptop is closed. FML

Today, I found out my girlfriend's password for okcupid is "i_love_mike". My name is not Mike. FML

Today, I was masturbating to a girl with huge boobs on the internet. I then proceeded to scroll down and found out she has a penis. FML

Today, I asked the girl I like if she wanted to go to the movies, she said yes and I said I'd let her pick the movie. She picked the movie, "Just Friends". FML

I cant breath

 

[king of erv]

 

[grizzlyboy]

The comments to the post are even funnier.

 

[deletedelete]

Today, I was lying on the bed with my boyfriend. We were watching his cell phone when an automatic reminder message came on the screen: "Do not forget to tell a lie to babe about going out this Friday". FML

Today, I was writing to my girlfriend on msn when her roommate answered «Sorry, this is not Marie, she is at her boyfriend's ». I've looked everywhere in my flat, I can't find her. FML

Today, the girl I'm secretly in love with, whom I was talking to on msn, told me she'd "brb in 10, no wait 20, oh make that 30 min" depending on her boyfriend's stamina. FML

Today, I dropped my keys in the sewer. The spare ones are inside my locked car. FML

Today, I ate at a friend's house. Her 5-year-old son, who was at the table with us, looked at me and said quietly to me, "You're ugly!" When my friend came back, I told her what had happened; she told him off briefly and then the boy began to cry, shouting, "But she isn't pretty!" FML

Today I was in a chatroom, speaking to a girl. We liked each other and got on well. She told me that she had dumped her boyfriend because he was such a bastard. 20 minutes later, we sent each other our photos... it was my ex. FML

 

[acbboyz84]

Originally Posted by termanology27

Today, I spent $400 at the stripclub and got 4 phone numbers. I as walked out of the club, I noticed it was ******-night. FML

omg

 

[aj232kb8]

 

[heatpinoyboy]

Originally Posted by IHeartBoost

Today, I asked the girl I like if she wanted to go to the movies, she said yes and I said I'd let her pick the movie. She picked the movie, "Just Friends". FML

I cant breath