Serious question, why do all of you believe that when a girl isnt around you, shes out getting......

[DCAllAfrican]

I don't think it should be taken literal. I think it is a semi-true figure of speech. What I take from it is don't put anything past any woman. Any woman is capable of cheating, even if she LOOKS and TALKS LIKE she is as innocent as Snow White. So while you are sitting in your bed holding her picture, don't be too surprised if she is getting her mammary glands molested.

Also, I don't think people are referring to your actual girl when they are saying that. Just girls you know and are having fun with.

Just never make the assumption that you are the only one. I don't think there is anything immature or insecure about going into it with that mindset.

 

[realrubirosa]

Originally Posted by sillyputty

Because I've been that other dude before...not saying i'm proud of it (i didn't know a couple times)
That being said, if your girl is going to cheat or slide around then you can do NOTHING about it. 

Men and women will do what they what with who they want...you can't force anyone to do anything. 

The most you can do is to be the best mate you can be to your partner and establish the conditions for you all to respect each other. 

You have to find someone who will respect you as much as you respect them.

And its rough but you have to expect the worst sometimes these days and hope for the best. 

I won't issue a blanket statement but there are a lot of grimey people out there. 

Your girl of four years could go out and have a "girl's night," meet a guy, answer your call at 3:00AM saying she's home, tired, going to sleep... while another man is inside her. When you've seen a girl say, "good night, baby. I love you," while you're on top of her, it'll make your threshold for trusting women harder to meet. I'm not saying they're all shameless and loose, but being aware of the possibility of that sort of stuff is wise.

 

[GTA 809]

I think your moms "advice" on dating was more detrimental to your trust issues than NT

no shots bro

 

[nawlinsjunkie]

It's not being insecure, it's being smart. Why would I trust a female so much without her proving it/earning that trust?

After being around women pretty much 24/7 in college, I've seen the most innocent looking/acting girls in class turn into polar opposites on the weekends, as if their boyfriends didn't exist. It's better to assume the worst than to be betrayed and disappointed, which has happened to me and many other men unfortunately

 

[big j 33]

Originally Posted by DCAllAmerican

I don't think it should be taken literal. I think it is a semi-true figure of speech. What I take from it is don't put anything past any woman. Any woman is capable of cheating, even if she LOOKS and TALKS LIKE she is as innocent as Snow White. So while you are sitting in your bed holding her picture, don't be too surprised if she is getting her mammary glands molested.

Also, I don't think people are referring to your actual girl when they are saying that. Just girls you know and are having fun with.

Just never make the assumption that you are the only one. I don't think there is anything immature or insecure about going into it with that mindset.

I agree with you in part, but the problem I have is most of NT won't acknowledge their own faults when it comes to relationships. If women can cheat, so can men. And maybe relationships can begin with a careful skepticism, but at what point do you let that go? Or should one always be on guard of their girl cheating on them even if they're years into a relationship? I notice more with NT that there's a constant underlying suspicion and mistrust of women. While I obviously can't speak to every male's experiences with women, but it seems like a common assumption that at some point the woman will do something to ruin the relationship, and that the men aren't at fault.

 

[thedeek]

Going through college has shown me just how much easier smashing a taken girl is than a single girl.

Being that other guy so much changes the mindset. But it's all personal experiences that shape this belief. That's the problem with these topics. Every guy in here can have had wildly different situations happen to them and it'd make certain points of view seem absolutely stupid.

It's all experience.

 

[0cks]

I don't think it's really insecure about your female it's knowing that if your girl is halfway decent she will have like +10 dudes scheming... not mentioning girls are fueled by attention so if it's not coming from you then... yeah...

All that train/tag teamed talk is OD tho

unless your girl always got down like that

 

[ago225]

Originally Posted by Grizzlyboy

Because when we are in doubt, we whip it out.

NT code to live by

 

[DCAllAfrican]

Originally Posted by nawlinsjunkie

It's not being insecure, it's being smart. Why would I trust a female so much without her proving it/earning that trust?

See this is where I stand. People are at a blank state and as they do + or - things, their rating adjusts accordingly. I don't automatically trust that anyone would/wouldn't do x, y, z. I don't think that is really saying DTA (Don't Trust Anyone). I just think you have to be safe.

@Big J, I think there is a difference between being on guard and believing she is doing dirt. I don't think you should ever not be on guard because anything can happen. And I don't think being on guard is a knock on your girl. Even if you trust her a lot, you have to remember that she is a human being and humans are not perfect. I don't think any human trusts any other human 100%, so with that being said, just keep and eye open at all times. I call it being safe. Others call it insecure. Oh well, call it what you will.

When you say men are at fault what are you referring to exactly?

 

[kramer]

Just believe that when she's out other dudes are goin after her. You can trust her just not every other stranger guy

 

[sweettooth 17]

Originally Posted by sillyputty

Because I've been that other dude before...not saying i'm proud of it (i didn't know a couple times)
That being said, if your girl is going to cheat or slide around then you can do NOTHING about it. 

Men and women will do what they what with who they want...you can't force anyone to do anything. 

The most you can do is to be the best mate you can be to your partner and establish the conditions for you all to respect each other. 

You have to find someone who will respect you as much as you respect them.

And its rough but you have to expect the worst sometimes these days and hope for the best. 

I won't issue a blanket statement but there are a lot of grimey people out there. 

x2

 

[big j 33]

But what do you actually do when you say "keep an eye open at all times" or being "on guard"? Something as simple as being concerned if she says she is hanging out with another guy one on one? Or are you talking about checking her phone texts/calls, checking if she's where she says she is at all times, etc? I'm just wondering where is the line between "protecting yourself and being aware" and obsessive insecurity or not trusting your partner.

And when I say men are at fault, I mean that a lot of NT doesn't recognize if they're the ones in the wrong when I see girl problem threads pop up. Men are at fault in the sense that not every problem a relationship is because of the woman by default. I'm not claiming that when a woman cheats, the man is at fault... although I suppose that can be the case at times, but I'm not making a generalization about that.

 

[Mound Raised]

I wouldn't even say she's gettin dicked down by the next dude, but minor conversation can lead to major situations
I've been on both sides...cheated, been cheated on...my homeboy's gul tryin 2 holla and they married wit kids or a chik that's been wit her dude for 10 yrs, kids and all type $++*... so my guard is always up, no Ortiz
These chiks nowadays are some the smartest but conniving beings on earth.

 

[AZwildcats]

Originally Posted by oidreez

I believe it's just for the lulz

 

[BranchLifestyle]

%@@$ !%$$+$$! OP

 

[gllahone84]

I pray I'm forgiven - for every bad decision I made

Every sister I played - cause I'm still paranoid to this day

Jay said it best...

 

[DCAllAfrican]

Originally Posted by Big J 33

But what do you actually do when you say "keep an eye open at all times" or being "on guard"? Something as simple as being concerned if she says she is hanging out with another guy one on one? Or are you talking about checking her phone texts/calls, checking if she's where she says she is at all times, etc? I'm just wondering where is the line between "protecting yourself and being aware" and obsessive insecurity or not trusting your partner.

I don't physically do anything. It is just a mindset. I wouldn't surprised if any woman did anything to me. Even if I was married, I would trust her, but that trust is conditional because she is a human being and humans are always capable of deception. So for my wife, I would still be prepared for the worst (not expect, not the same thing), if she were to do dirt.

Checking phones/texts is blatant disrespect and has no place in any relationship.

Her hanging out 1-on-1 with any other dude isn't something that I am personally comfortable with. I don't think that is something I would ever be cool with either. But if she wants to do that, what can I do?

Checking where she is, nah. Not my style.

 

[big j 33]

That makes sense, I'd agree with that. And I figured as much with the overt disrespect and paranoia crossing the line.

 

[savannah leigh]

Originally Posted by Big J 33

Originally Posted by DoubleJs07

A lot of guys see things that way because they're insecure or they mess w. trifling women.

I agree. While a lot of it is NT just making jokes and messing with people, it's mostly because a lot of NT is very insecure and have MAJOR issues with women.

Thank you someone finally said it.

 

[frshstunna]

mane you cant trust these chicks out here...but i agree that you cant say that a girl is automatically getting plowed every time she isnt with you,....but situations like when they out late or hanging somewhere wit alotta dudes i assume they up to no good therefore im not surprised or hurt by anything, and having to make girl promblem/ advice threads on here...

 

[vahustler]

Never trust these chicks is correct....single or not. Girls you think are innocent and trustworthy can be ate up by multiple members of the wolf pack. I've seen it happen way too many times with the dimes.

 

[loveofthegame916]

 

[superflyinchopstickninja]

Sometimes I wonder what type of chicks nt'ers go for. I remember some thread where a girl was asking where to find a specific fitted and everyone was like "Damn best girlfriend ever. Trying to find her bf a hat. I wish my girl was like that." (paraphrased a little there

) But yeah, a lot of times its for teh lulz. Other times it's just like

 

[baltimoregutta]

Because she probably is...

Not really.

 

[an dee 51o]

Originally Posted by DoubleJs07

A lot of guys see things that way because they're insecure or they mess w. trifling women.

This. I have also cheated, been cheated on, and have been with chicks with boyfriends.

Originally Posted by whyhellothere

because rappers kept telling stories about how they're at my house with my girl cooking them a meal with my pans while i'm not a home because I hit the scene while he makes the scene.

Originally Posted by supa vegetto

because Smush Parker has a lot of free time.