Raising a feminist son

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We’re now more likely to tell our daughters they can be anything they want to be — an astronaut and a mother, a tomboy and a girlie girl. But we don’t do the same for our sons.

Even as we’ve given girls more choices for the roles they play, boys’ worlds are still confined, social scientists say. They’re discouraged from having interests that are considered feminine. They’re told to be tough at all costs, or else to tamp down their so-called boy energy.

If we want to create an equitable society, one in which everyone can thrive, we need to also give boys more choices. As Gloria Steinem says, “I’m glad we’ve begun to raise our daughters more like our sons, but it will never work until we raise our sons more like our daughters.”

That’s because women’s roles can’t expand if men’s don’t, too. But it’s not just about women. Men are falling behind in school and work because we are not raising boys to succeed in the new, pink economy. Skills like cooperation, empathy and diligence — often considered to be feminine — are increasingly valued in modern-day work and school, and jobs that require these skills are the fastest-growing.

In her new book, Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie, the Nigerian-born author, gives instructions for raising a feminist daughter. But how can we raise feminist sons?

I asked neuroscientists, economists, psychologists and others to answer that question, based on the latest research and data we have about gender. I defined feminist simply, as someone who believes in the full equality of men and women. Their advice applied broadly: to anyone who wants to raise children who are kind, confident and free to pursue their dreams.

https://www.nytimes.com/2017/06/02/upshot/how-to-raise-a-feminist-son.html?_r=2
 
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I defined feminist simply, as someone who believes in the full equality of men and women.
I have seen a few different interpretations of the word feminist, but if this is the one we are going with then I am fine with having a feminist son
 
I have two daughters. I told them they can't do everything a boy can do and a boy can't do everything they can do. Am I lying?

Well technically you're not lying. I have a 2 year old daughter and I think I'll just express to her that girls and boys are just different. Which is fine.
 
As someone who's decided to never have children; I'm relieved that this is something I'll never have to deal with. As for those of you who have children, this has to be a challenge because society has changed quite a bit since we were raised.
 
Eh, as long as you teach em to use their brain and think for themselves. Of course some are just gonna have dumb kids lol but it's really all you can do.
 
Women don't want true equality. They want what whatever custom benefits them during that situation.
If it involves them getting more pay/more rights, they want equality, and I'm fine with that.
When it involves them getting special treatment: getting in places for free, people buying them drinks, carrying something that's moderately heavy, they pull the woman card and want to resort back to the antiquated rules where women 'need assistance'.
 
What is the feminist position on prostitution? Should it be legal?
 
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This is more eloquently spoken on by women in general, but the article is correct, and speaks to a larger issue.

Women enjoy gender roles, and subscribe to them more than men do. My boy is married to a woman who is the income earner which leaves him daycare, pta etc.....how do you think the women treat him?

As with any issue, there are two sides to blame at least.
 
There's a lot of disconnect due to what women say (because it sounds good/and it's accepted) and how they actually feel.

I'd love someone to answer the previous question regarding prostitution.
 
Women don't want true equality. They want what whatever custom benefits them during that situation.
If it involves them getting more pay/more rights, they want equality, and I'm fine with that.
When it involves them getting special treatment: getting in places for free, people buying them drinks, carrying something that's moderately heavy, they pull the woman card and want to resort back to the antiquated rules where women 'need assistance'.
This has always been my biggest gripe. I work in a field dominated by women and I've lost count as to how many times I've been told to do things because "I'm the man," even though they're more than capable of doing the task themselves.

People only like equality when it benefits them.
 
Also interesting how quick people are to label something as a 'man's job'. But if you dare utter the term 'that's a woman's job' you'll likely be called all types of chauvinist.
 
Also interesting how quick people are to label something as a 'man's job'. But if you dare utter the term 'that's a woman's job' you'll likely be called all types of chauvinist.

that's a bit of a false equivalency there. Typically a "mans job" is deemed as such because of the physical requirement
"woman's work" tends to be viewed as something that is delicate, less physical, even unimportant and unmasculine. In most cases there aren't many pnysical factors that would keep a man from doing "woman's work"
societies notions about what is acceptable behavior for a man is usually what's at play here
 
No matter what it's called, to me it's about not discouraging your child from something simply because you expect them to do something else. This can be a gender-role thing, but it could also be something else (a lawyer discouraging his child from pursuing medicine or an NBA athlete discouraging his kid from playing football).

More to the point, the idea of what it means to be a "man" has evolved, but I think it's lost some of its substance. Being a man should be about taking responsibility but not taking credit, doing the right thing no matter the cost, etc.

However, now we have two somehow new concepts of being a "man." One is the overaggressive, testosterone-filled cartoon concept of being a "man" (think trump supporter roaring his Harley and showing off his beer belly). The other is the guy who is so sensitive about gender equality that he thinks it would be rude to hold the door open for a girl.

Anyway, I think it boils down to principles, respect, and responsibility, and once you instill those values, your son will recognize that his work or whatever else isn't what defines his manliness but it's how he carries himself.
 
Women only want the same treatment as men when its convenient though. There are plenty of times in life where they don't want to be on the same level and they want to be treated special.

Agreed. Its like that whole "dont hit a woman" argument. Of course im not gonna hit a woman, or a man for that matter. I will however hit someone if they are hitting/assaulting me. Doesnt matter man or woman.
 
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