NTer's in relationships - Girl's Night Out and Social Media... Opinions ?

[Gill Baka Esq. LLC.]

Brah I told you already.

Tell her how you feel about the situation. A cuffed girl shouldn't be doing things single girls are doing.

Let her go out to these pg13 events...that's cool...but clubbing, thot events, etc are not what's up.

Spend a little more time with your girl as well. Find common interests you both like and do them. Let her pick an event, then you pick one...make the relationship stronger.

But at the end of the day you don't have to feel like your controlling her. There are things you are looking for and are not looking for and if she slips then you can just leave.

This big *** world is all yours no matter what route you choose, but she gotta understand that you can take her on this journey with you or she can stay where she at and you can gather all the precious yambs you want as a result.

Don't trip brah. Life is simple. Sit down with yourself and write out what concerns you, try to be 70%objective and 30% subjective, and figure what you'll regret more in 5 years: letting her slide with all this and it possibly getting worse or telling her how you really feel and either making a compromise or you just bouncing.

 

[zapatohead408]

There's a difference between always being on social media and always POSTING on social media.



In regards to them going on... I ENCOURAGE my chick to hang with her friends...

But dont go to the extreme like some NTers and tell her to go on dates and to the movies with other dudes.

What if you're into that sort of stuff?

 

[change the name Snyder]

fam if you layin wood right you dont gotta worry bout nothin

 

[bigpat630]

Like everyone is saying, you gotta be honest with her. If it's bothering you that much, tell her how you feel. But be careful in the way you present it. You don't want to be that jealous, overprotective bf type. My ex was a home body. My current gf like going out. She has a couple gf's that are single. She'll do a girls night maybe twice a month. I don't mind. I trust her. But like other people said, you gotta keep the relationship busy. Do new things, plan trips. Gotta keep her on her toes.

 

[mrse7en]

well i guess it also bothers me cause she's always telling me dudes at work liking her and when she goes out dudes hitting on her and her friends friend asking them about her or asking her if she has a bf etc.

she does tell me all this, so trust isn't really an issue.  but i guess it's still a hard pill for a guy to swallow cause as a guy we know what guys are thinking/wanting and how they operate.

yes she is attractive, but sorry no pics will be posted.  you will just have to take my word.

insert the no pics, must use imagination meme lol

 

[Mark Antony]

Dude gotta be young. Missing obvious signs that he needs to do more or else (hanging with her friends because you ain't doing ****, telling you bout the dudes within regular proximity hitting on her etc). Then you wanna give her rules and check her. Do it bro, women love when you threaten their freedom. Or calm your *** down, take her out to something fun, and lay pipe something serious afterwards. You're not doing your part, start. Save us the breakup thread.

 

[flyny]

well i guess it also bothers me cause she's always telling me dudes at work liking her and when she goes out dudes hitting on her and her friends friend asking them about her or asking her if she has a bf etc.

she does tell me all this

I mean, if dudes aren't trying to get at her, that means she's ugly. So take that as a good thing.

Guys can act however towards your girl. The main thing is how your girl handles it. If she's feeding off the attention, and encouraging it, then that's a problem. If she tells the guy "yo fall back my G. I ain't with that ****, fam." Then you got yourself a keeper. And if they still insist on getting at her, that's when you come in the picture and put your hands to work

 

[mrse7en]

mark anthony, you just spit some truth there sir.  i'm not young, but i think certain things in life i'm just more immature about.  i'm use to getting the things i want and getting my way.  so this is definitely a wake up call.  sometimes you don't realize things that are clear as day and need someone else to tell ya.  like they saying does, the best hiding spot is usually right in front of someone's face as that is the place they will least expect.  i now have a clear picture of rather than trying to put blame on my gf's friends etc. it is actually ME that needs to look myself in the mirror and step up my game.

fly: i take it as a good thing that she tells me.  if she wanted to be shady she could easily hide it or feed off it and i would never know.  i guess in the end i have a pretty good girl and it's me that needs to wake up.

 

[frankmatthews]

she does tell me all this, so trust isn't really an issue.  

She tells you this so you can get all worked up exactly like you are. And then you start investing more and more into this situation, not because you want to be at yoga class with her, or that she is absolutely the greatest person to be around, but out of fear and insecurity of not being able to keep her. And god forbid she actually deems another male "better" than you, nope, can't have that. Better spend all your time with her, shower her with gifts like Valentines Day is a competitive sport, do whatever it takes to keep her pleased.

You are on the wrong route. Just do you, time and energy wasted on all those mental gymnastics is not even worth it.

 

[anomolie]

Less worrying, more living. I remember my first serious relationship where my life revolved her. That's not living, that's torture. Took my L and learned my lesson. 

 

[11wordisbond]

Dude youre not gonna like this advice but youre gonna have to cut her off. Shes not ready to be a homebody so its not gonna work out for yall right now.

 

[mrse7en]

frank, i think you're digging a little too deep.  i just tell her to tell me things, so she does.  it's not like she's boasting , trying to get me to buy her things, making me feel insecure etc.  she has great qualities, if she wanted to leave she could have already and there would be a line of guys dying to get at here and have her as their gf.  

this thread just helped me with a lot of self realization.  this is mainly an issue to do with me, and not with her.  i've never put myself in her shoes and have been stuck in my old ways.

 

[cedric ceballos]

Your girl is probably having girls nights out with Tyrone op.

Listen to that cam stop calling song. I hope that's not you my man.

 

[swaggdaddy]

I'm in a similar deal myself.

I made it clear to this girl i'm talking to that I'm not looking for a party girl, if you got old flames you talking to then i'm out, and she should try to make me feel secure and I will do the same for her.

You gotta draw your line in the sand as early as possible imho. There are just some things you are looking for in a girl and if she is giving you too many red flags then it's best to say your looking for something deeper and just bounce.

In your situation, def. tricky. You should def. voice your concerns. Don't keep that stuff bottled up. Tell her that as her man you trust her but don't trust the situations she's putting herself in and that your really not feeling it. For the social media thing tell her how you feel that it's bothering you and you don't like a girl you want to spend your time with to be wrapped up in all of that.

Sometimes you gotta compromise too.

Before any of this, you have to realize people are people and they're gonna want to do what they want to do. BUT, if it's causing you a constant problem then you might have to let her go and move on to greener pastures.

Never underestimate the quality of peace of mind.

GL.

this guy knows!

 

[victor page]

Your girl isn't being "dragged". She's going out because she wants to.

 

[slighted]

I've found that you attract who you are.

So yes, it's fair to judge a woman based on who she surrounds herself with.

 

[gwap]

She's your GIRLFRIEND not wife..

You're definitely in yoru early 20's...

Don't you have things to do, places to go, people to meet, events to attend?

Go out and do you ...stop spending your time worrying about a chick who you're probably not gonna end up marrying anyway

 

[flyny]

OP, at the end of the day, just out your foot down. Take it upon yourself to make the relationship better, and be the man in the relationship. Give her no opportunities to go out with her single friends. If you have mad events planned out, and she's still thirsting to go out with her females instead of you, then cut her off.

 

[OBAMA]

 
first issue:

guys in serious relationships, how often does your GF do a girls night out ?

my gf's close friends are all single at this moment, so it's a group of 4-5 at least usually.  since these girls are single, obviously they are always wanting to go out and hang.  however, they are always trying to get my gf to go with them as well.  they usually keep getting at her and she eventually gives in.  she says one time a week is normal, but then they wanna go to yoga and dinner during the week too sometimes and drag her along to those as well.  now they want to plan some trips and weekend getaways and drag her along too.  these chicks are just  pissing me off.  

my gf doesn't have many true close girlfriends imo, so i think she tries to make up for it by hanging with these girls whenever they ask so that she'll have a clique instead of feeling lame.  but these chicks are straight trash.  all they wanna do is party and what not.  don't do regular girl stuff like go have brunch, shop at the mall, go to dinner etc.

first, let me say that i do trust my gf.  it's these chicks that she hangs with that seem to always being up to no good that will end up putting my gf in a bad situation etc.  (ie.  if they go to a club, obviously the friends are there for attention from guys.  what is my gf supposed to do when the other girls go get drinks or dance with guys etc?  is she supposed to just go chill by herself in the corner ?) 

second issue:

facebook, instagram, phone usage.  always on, always checking, posting selfies, constantly chatting with gf's etc.  yet again, it's those same single gf's that are the bad influence imo.  constantly messaging her and talking to her etc.  of course it's her fault for replying, but she's the social type too, so that is good and bad.

am i the only one that gets annoyed at these things ?  am i over reacting ?  am i trying to be too controlling ?  i think i have the right to make the judgements i do on her friends and this leads to arguments sometimes about me not liking them.  i don't even get a chance to like them, because all they ever wanna do is girl events where so called no guys are invited.  well duh, they don't have any bf's so they probably don't wanna feel like a loner if only my gf brings me.

am i in the minority or do most guys think like i do ?  

yea, your girl is getting piped bro

 

[flyny]

yea, your girl is getting piped bro

Don't put that in his head fam

How long have you been with your girl OP?
Has she ever given you any doubt in your mind that she's not being faifful?

 

[boris]

You need to figure out how much you want to be around your significant other and try to date someone that has a similar preference. My significant other includes me in just about everything she does because we both know we enjoy spending the majority of our time together. You have to figure out what works for you. 

 

[mister doitnice]

OP, you're making a mountain out of a molehill. If her friends are all single then yeah they're going to want to do their own thing. Nothing wrong with that. Young people like to do fun things. Who are you to determine how they should and shouldn't be spending their time? You sound judgmental and they probably got that vibe from you and decided to box you out. Just find ways to keep your girl engaged and she'll eventually tell her girls she has other plans.

As far as the social media stuff, you already knew what you were getting into on that front. If you didn't like it in the beginning you should've said something, or kept it pushing. I see that you recognized there are things within yourself you need to change. Kudos. Make those changes before you sit your girl down to talk. You sound too emotional and it might hurt you, instead of helping you.

 

[OneNightDan]

Not exactly in the same situation, but my girl's "friends" who come around every so often will try and invite her places. One of the girls I'm not sweating 'cause she's getting married in May. The other is the single boy crazy whatever, probably the only one I need to watch out for. The moment they graduated high school they all went their on ways, when I got with my girl she had no friends. So for 2 years I was her only "friend" according to my girl. Then late last year, they wanted my gf to come back & hang out with them along with being a bridesmaid as well. They do the whole wedding planning, & also other "Girls Nights". I didn't feel right about the situation 'cause they basically left her hanging for such a long time & we had been doing fine without them. Still skeptical, I choose when to let my guard down with them. You can trust your girl, but it's the people around them you should concern yourself with.

 

[leclutchjames]

Do you have friends???? Have a guys night?

Some of you guys need to relax or break up what the hell am I reading

 

[heliumclinton]

You buggin fam.