I am so very sorry for your loss. Prayers for you and your family as you navigate the grief journey. NT was there for me when my mom died and we will be there for you.
1. So many NTers helped me get through and so many said such uplifting things. I go back to what
Methodical Management
said when he said don’t look at the loss of your father like he lost a fight or his battle to get well but remember that he is living through you and that he lived and loved the best he could and he would want you to live.
2. Grief has no timeline or playbook. You will feel all kinds of emotions (sadness, anger, frustration) and that’s ok. It also takes as long as it takes. Don’t let anyone rush you through grief because you will have more problems that way. It will take time and you will never feel like you did when your dad was alive but you will find a new normal.
3. See a grief counselor asap. I’m not ashamed to say that I couldn’t get through my mom’s passing without seeing a grief counselor. I had lost other people before her but she was my best friend in addition to being my mom. It was rough and it took my NT family to give me the strength to actually see someone.
elpablo21
RustyShackleford
Methodical Management
and others mentioned counseling several times. Please don’t self medicate with alcohol or drugs.
4. Your relationships with other family members (your mom and sister) will change and that’s ok. One nasty side effect of grief is getting angry at family for what they did or didn’t do when your dad was in the hospital. This doesn’t help and will only cause the grief to last longer. I got really angry at my two sisters because for two years I went with my dad to every chemo session, surgery and set back and neither sister stepped up in my mind. The reality was that what they did it didn’t do wasn’t going to change the outcome so I needed to move on. Do everything you can to prevent this outcome even if it means setting up boundaries and being less present.
5. Your job is to make sure that you are fine. Your mom and sister will be fine but before you can help them you need to help yourself.
6. People will stop calling as much after a few months which is normal but that doesn’t mean that you should be over it by then.
7. My counselor told me that losing a person we dearly love is like losing a limb. You won’t ever get that limb back but you will learn to live without it in time.
8. If you need to cry you cry. Don’t hold anything in. I think I cried every day for several months after mom died.
you go boy
. Prayers to you and your family during this time.
. Here if you need someone to talk to that's in a similar situation.
unkn0wn how are you doing? I remember you have a loved one with health problem as well.
