for those curious lol.. No physicaly or sexually abused in anyways.. Emotionally yes... Met my dad when I was 20... Honestly, my childhood does probably have something to do with enjoying bdsm...
Its hard to explain why I enjoy it... It all depends on what's the scenario is... A big part of it, when with a play partner you play with for a while, is trust... I know that sounds weird, but she trusts me to do what she'll take enjoyment out of..
I've been the sub a couple times myself with the ex, and I completely understand why taking a beating is enjoyable with a partner you trust.. When I was her sub, it was almost therapeutic and a huge stress receiver... It does something to the brain that just frees it up from everything else in the world... The is called sub space...
And being a sub those couple times, has made me a much better dom... I understand now why I'm giving the beating.. The vast majority of the time, I get off on knowing that my sub is truly enjoying the experience and the sensations going on...
But there are women who enjoy being treated like Sluts and get degraded... And as long as I have their content, who am I to say it's wrong or crossing a line.. I have a black eye right from some good old fashioned rough sex the other night.. And I'm ******* proud of it lol.., anyways, do I like treating a **** like a ****, yeah.. But as long as she likes being treated like a ****..
So, yeah probably ****** up in the head lol.. But it's what I enjoy...