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Everything you stated was well put especially going through financial struggles and finding each other with time apart.Married: 7 years, Together 13 Years
You know that she is when you have someone that you have built a real relationship with. Someone that you can trust, that you are attracted to physically, mentally, and spiritually, the same sense of humor, has the same ethics and moral code, supports you in the good things that you pursue, and cares enough about you to be honest no matter how it makes you feel, forgives, and is that person that you cannot be apart from...a true friendship.
Find this and you have the one. Take a few years to build, see one another really angry, go through some losses, financial struggles, and if necessary some time apart. If you both can work though all of this and still have the true friendship, then you've got it.
It's hard work. The key is realizing that you are no different than any other man, and are capable of the same mistakes than any other man can make. You have the same male default program as any other man. This applies to her also. What makes you a "good man" and she a "good woman" is discipline and integrity. Discipline and Integrity are those things that keep you honest and focused not only when she's around, but when no one else can see you.
Good luck OP.
Gotta disagree with realizing that im no different than any man though. With my wife and her only, I try my best to to be the most unique, patient, smartest, craziest, hard working, best looking, humorous dude she will ever meet or know.
With that said I set my value to an extreme to wear she knows that the front door is open when we bump heads but she ain't going no where.
Together since 99
Married since 02