- Nov 2, 2006
- 15,448
- 16,785
what this guy said
Long Distance relationship.. Really that difficult?
what this guy said
- Feb 23, 2004
- 1,095
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Distance just killed my relationship. Howeever, to her credit, on our second date shorty said she couldn't do distance. We started out without distance, and then my job forced me to locate internationally for six months. She tried her best but eventually succumbed to it, which hurt hard.
I think it depends on the emotional capacities of the woman. My girl didnt have that many friends, which made the strain of not having someone to spend time with more accentuated. The physical temptations are there but with the right woman, it doesnt bother you as much.
I honestly never even considered hooking up with another chick, though its obviously super easy since you have no one there to hold you accountable. Long distance requires such a heightened time investment, though, that you're only doing it because you have manifested an intent to be committed to the other person, else it's not worth the struggle, so in a way the temptation to cheat isnt as strong as you would imagine
It's tough. I will tell you that there is more comforting her emotional needs than in a typical relationship because you have to make amends for the lack of physical interaction. If it's the right girl, then it's not a problem. Just make sure she can handle it.
I think it depends on the emotional capacities of the woman. My girl didnt have that many friends, which made the strain of not having someone to spend time with more accentuated. The physical temptations are there but with the right woman, it doesnt bother you as much.
I honestly never even considered hooking up with another chick, though its obviously super easy since you have no one there to hold you accountable. Long distance requires such a heightened time investment, though, that you're only doing it because you have manifested an intent to be committed to the other person, else it's not worth the struggle, so in a way the temptation to cheat isnt as strong as you would imagine
It's tough. I will tell you that there is more comforting her emotional needs than in a typical relationship because you have to make amends for the lack of physical interaction. If it's the right girl, then it's not a problem. Just make sure she can handle it.
- Jan 19, 2002
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- Jul 18, 2012
- 8,837
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DC to NY isn't really long distance...i have two coworkers that do it and they see their girlfriends every other weekend in NY or they visit in DC...
its only 4 hours and there are dozens of buses and train routes that run to and from there for like $40 round trip...
its only 4 hours and there are dozens of buses and train routes that run to and from there for like $40 round trip...
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phen0m
Banned
- Feb 27, 2009
- 1,149
- 82
I have a friend who's actually been in one for two years. Started locally and they were on the same place for a year. Relationship now is just starting to wear on him. I think the commitment of time and energy is just so draining. Even when the girl is amazing.
Its just the little things in life that are missed. And I don't know if you can remain plugged into the minutia of someone's life, when they aren't within arms reach(not literally). The mind is a funny tool and I think more often than not its just the mental checking out of these ldr's that ruins them.
Its just the little things in life that are missed. And I don't know if you can remain plugged into the minutia of someone's life, when they aren't within arms reach(not literally). The mind is a funny tool and I think more often than not its just the mental checking out of these ldr's that ruins them.
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- Dec 30, 2012
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Been talking to this girl who lives in East Africa now for about a month... I live in Maryland 
She's absolutely amazing though, and we both seem to really like each other. Have honestly fallen for her more in this short amount of time then I have with any other girl I've ever talked too.
My East African Queen
Will pay attention to this thread for advice and do's/do nots, not willing to lose this girl because of some distance.
She's absolutely amazing though, and we both seem to really like each other. Have honestly fallen for her more in this short amount of time then I have with any other girl I've ever talked too. My East African Queen
Will pay attention to this thread for advice and do's/do nots, not willing to lose this girl because of some distance.
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- Aug 14, 2012
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That Visa somethin else 
- Jun 1, 2013
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It's all about the people involved. You gotta want it and these days most people don't want it that bad. That's why it seems hard.
Ox.
formerly oxpenguin
- Oct 13, 2012
- 11,837
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I prefer a little distance in my relationships, my last girl was 2 hours away. in my opinion it makes for a stronger relationship, if the person is right, the respect, the communication, the trust, the faith and so on makes for a stronger bond.
superblytrife
Supporter
- Mar 20, 2002
- 21,820
- 24,950
It's possible if you're both serious about the relationship and a future together.
I tried it for about a year back in college and just couldn't do it. Girlfriend graduated and moved 2 hours away while I was still in school. We tried the every other weekend thing, but eventually I got tired of taking the train or driving back and forth. I'm sure she got tired of it, too. Plus I began to resent missing out on big party weekends at school. Going from kicking it with the homies one weekend to a boring, quiet weekend at her house in the middle of the most boring town ever killed me.
That's why I say if you're serious, it can work. I just wasn't sure the juice was worth the squeeze, so I wasn't really all in on making it succeed.
I tried it for about a year back in college and just couldn't do it. Girlfriend graduated and moved 2 hours away while I was still in school. We tried the every other weekend thing, but eventually I got tired of taking the train or driving back and forth. I'm sure she got tired of it, too. Plus I began to resent missing out on big party weekends at school. Going from kicking it with the homies one weekend to a boring, quiet weekend at her house in the middle of the most boring town ever killed me.
That's why I say if you're serious, it can work. I just wasn't sure the juice was worth the squeeze, so I wasn't really all in on making it succeed.
- Feb 19, 2007
- 7,191
- 162
I've been doing it for 4 years, due to work, it's certainly doable. It just takes a certain level of trust and a vision that your loved one will be there with you to see it through.
GreenNGold89
formerly bbllplaya23
- Apr 5, 2005
- 6,672
- 2,317
I'm in a 4 year relationship and the past 3 years have been long distance. It is doable if you are both committed. If you are not both 100% in, it won't work.
- May 26, 2006
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I was in a long distance relationship for 4 years. (TN/MD) I just moved my girl here and we survived it.
Was it hard. Absolutely. Very. But can it work? It really depends on a few things.
How long have the two been in a relationship?
If are just getting together a few months before then no. It wont work. The two havent been through enough to have the mutual respect for each other and the time put in to know how to be with just one person. If its been years, then yes, because at that point you are already talking serious relationship territory.
How long of a distance?
If its only a few hours it can work easily, even for new relationships, because either one can go to the other one at any time.
And sometimes the distance works for the better. If its longer than a few hours away then it is harder because you have to plan visits. That also involves not
going to see her/him when she is on her cycle. There is nothing worse than going to see your girl after a few months and her being on her period, then having to wait another few months til the next time to smash. Tha'll make you want to cheat right there if you are not a strong person.
Finances:
If you are broke LDRs DO NOT WORK. You gotta have cash for trips, things to do when you get there, rentals car if necessary, hotel if necessary, emergency cash etc.
One thing neither party is going to tolerate is not seeing each other on account of being broke.
Are they the one:
Cause if they arent at least the prototype then it wont work. It will be too easy to look at the next thing. And not just for you but for her too.
Its gotta be a situation where neither of you are looking for anything because you already have what you want. If not someone WILL cheat.
Im sure there are other thing but those are a few I can think of from surviving my 4 year LDR.
Was it hard. Absolutely. Very. But can it work? It really depends on a few things.
How long have the two been in a relationship?
If are just getting together a few months before then no. It wont work. The two havent been through enough to have the mutual respect for each other and the time put in to know how to be with just one person. If its been years, then yes, because at that point you are already talking serious relationship territory.
How long of a distance?
If its only a few hours it can work easily, even for new relationships, because either one can go to the other one at any time.
And sometimes the distance works for the better. If its longer than a few hours away then it is harder because you have to plan visits. That also involves not
going to see her/him when she is on her cycle. There is nothing worse than going to see your girl after a few months and her being on her period, then having to wait another few months til the next time to smash. Tha'll make you want to cheat right there if you are not a strong person.
Finances:
If you are broke LDRs DO NOT WORK. You gotta have cash for trips, things to do when you get there, rentals car if necessary, hotel if necessary, emergency cash etc.
One thing neither party is going to tolerate is not seeing each other on account of being broke.
Are they the one:
Cause if they arent at least the prototype then it wont work. It will be too easy to look at the next thing. And not just for you but for her too.
Its gotta be a situation where neither of you are looking for anything because you already have what you want. If not someone WILL cheat.
Im sure there are other thing but those are a few I can think of from surviving my 4 year LDR.
- Jul 27, 2012
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Had one for a few months a few years back. I'm in LA, shes in NYC. I fly for free and would go out there every other week or so. It was cool while it laste but I prefer my main female to live within reasonable distance of me
Ox.
formerly oxpenguin
- Oct 13, 2012
- 11,837
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- Jul 27, 2012
- 12,547
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At least it wasnt your 10000th post. I fly free since my pops works for the airlines. I possibly might be able to help you with a buddy pass though. I got a close friend that works for delta that hooks it up from time to time.
bhergh
Banned
- Dec 2, 2009
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- Jun 17, 2006
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Depends on the distance. Long distance relationships are very costly. OP, if I were you, I'd stick to a chick in my city or neighboring town.
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- Oct 31, 2010
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yeah as much as i'd like to say it's doable
personal experience says otherwise
personal experience says otherwise
- Nov 15, 2012
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Doable.. just moved over to England and the old lady had to stay in the states (both Military), most in this position would rush a marriage so both get orders to the base, but that usually ends bad..we talk everyday and she is trying to get orders to one of the bases out here. Its all about communication and still doing things you would do if you were there, ie. buying flowers and such. we try to visit each other at least twice a year, and be as honest as possible. Obviously temptation will come but if the other person is worth it you gotta be strong.
Bottom Line: If the relationship is worth it, you'll find a way, if its not then don't even attempt it.
Bottom Line: If the relationship is worth it, you'll find a way, if its not then don't even attempt it.
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- Oct 6, 2009
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i just did one from nj to cali. ny to dc is a 4 hour trip and id take that trip on weekends no prob. but the insecurities might arrive and will test your patience tenfold. you have like a 2 minute window to reply to any and all text bruh bruh
- Dec 28, 2004
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yikes lol
- Feb 2, 2014
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not possible unless yall are both ugly and reclusive and have no other options
- Oct 10, 2013
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Man, a 30 min drive is far enough for me
- Jan 5, 2011
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Man, a 30 min drive is far enough for me
This. I was seeing this chick that was 45 minutes away for a minute. That got old fast. I only want local ladies.
