Just found out my girl was cheating on me

[hazeleyed honey]

Originally Posted by mrkane

Originally Posted by sillyputty

I have this personal theory that guys become cold-hearted BECAUSE of women.

Its not this innate feeling they have and are born with.

I think that first real heart-break pushes a lot of dudes over the edge into straight not giving a damn about women.
What I'm saying is... from what i've seen, a lot of these dudes who seem to just not care about women, are emotionally shell-shocked within. 

 Truth. Once that good guy inside gets killed he never comes back. Long live the BEAST that these ungrateful ^%$%*'s created

  

It is because of their ego. 
Not only men are like that. It can happen to us women who have been cheated on too. I've become jaded in a way that I am weary of men and relationships because I learned that when you put your heart on your sleeve, you are giving the other person the full power to do whatever they want with it and they can rip your heart out. I know there are very good trustworthy men out there, but I will not give in or trust someone until they earn it. If they hurt and deceive me again? Oh well, I know I can pick myself up faster and move on much quicker. That is how strong it makes you. 

OP, take it as a learning experience to open your eyes. You will be hurting, you will be bitter. But, there will be better days. I promise. Thank your lucky stars you find out, so now you can be with someone who is worthy of you and loyal and trustworthy to you. Never settle for less or for people who disrespect you. You deserve better. Take it as a lesson in seeing that even significant others are like anyone and can stab you and deceive you in the back just like people who you think are your friends and do you wrong. Now you can better learn to keep your guards up and to know how to weed out those toxic people out of your life.

 

[mccheesy]

Originally Posted by RawSheed

it's one thing to cheat on a person but why do females always go back to their ex?

if I meet a chick and find out she's carrying some heavy weight/baggage I just peace out on em, no questions asked..too many bad experiences

This right here. I've officially learned my lesson on these type of situations...

But, we don't get put through all this for no reason, learn your lessons and move forward, find things to sink your time into until you can think back and laugh about the whole situation, the sooner the better too. The longer you spend sulking, the more you'll hate yourself later for caring so much about what a lowlife %%$$ did to you.

 

[joeykadesh]

Thank you all for your helpful input..Anytime I feel down I just have to look at this thread and see all my Niketalk Brethren have been in the same situation as me..It helps a lot during this difficult time..

Thanks again guys  

 

[frankmatthews]

Originally Posted by DaNiKeRhiNo

Originally Posted by sillyputty

I have this personal theory that guys become cold-hearted BECAUSE of women.

Its not this innate feeling they have and are born with.

I think that first real heart-break pushes a lot of dudes over the edge into straight not giving a damn about women.
What I'm saying is... from what i've seen, a lot of these dudes who seem to just not care about women, are emotionally shell-shocked within. 

This may be true to a certain extent, but, I believe guys becoming cold-hearted stems from women in different parts of the world(from the middle-east to America) being viewed as possessions rather than equal counterparts when it comes to sexual relations and a lot of relationships(mainly for people in the teens to the 20s). Alot of men in America in particular take pride in having sex with as much women as they could to appease their fellow men like it was some sort of accomplishment to add a notch to their masculinity trophy list. I also think media further fuels this by promoting the bachelors as the cool guys that every man should worship, and this happens a lot in the black community. You see examples every where, the coolest guys are often the ones that "bagged" the most women and guys that show more feelings and emotions for women are often viewed as being soft, you can see that in every single relationship post on here. Most women worship players, this is especially true for the black and Hispanic communtiy. I don't disagree with your statement completely, but, I think my point of view has a stronger influence oin our society when it comes to relationships with young men and women and to think otherwise would be unfair to women everywhere.

I agree with both you guys comments.  Very true.  I my experience it only takes one time for a guy to learn the lesson. Girls tend to make the same mistakes
over and over again.

More to the second comment, a mans desires are formulated by the environment he is in.  No doubt sex is emphasized.
But on the flip side, imo and experience, women have those same selfish, vain desires for "love".  They will be just as selfish
and cold-hearted in obtaining what society tells them they should want or expect from a man.   Women are just as much dogs as men,
they just aren't seeking the same things.  Men will use you physically while women will use you emotionally, which is worse imo.

Something else I thought I would add to your point about the influence media has on men.  Girls, remember this.  As much pressure as you feel
to avoid being labeled a !$%%, or loose and ultimately "not wifey material",  men feel that same pressure to go out and sleep with many girls.  It's just as embarrassing
for a guy to be labeled a virgin as it is for a girl to be labeled a !$%%, it's not the desired perception you want society to have of you and it's all completely manufactured.
To sillyputty's point, guys aren't born with that mentality, it's a learned experience whether it's from other women or various forms of media.