In the past year, how many times have you thought about suicide?

[cubanref]

Just remember that there are always people that are going through worse times then you are...I know its been said and its cliche but its true. When things are at there lowest the only place you can go is up. Keep your head up man

 

[godshammgod]

Originally Posted by kuya7macky23

Honestly, this is the most powerful thread I've seen on NT. I don't post often, as you can see by my membership date/post count, but when I saw this thread, I felt the need to post.

I guess you could classify me in the group that 'tried it, unsuccessfully.' If you want to make jokes, make jokes. Do you. But major props to the OP for taking the time to be honest, and props to anyone with serious and/or useful advice.

I've tried it more than once. In 7th grade, I was bullied beyond belief for being the 'chinese' kid, even though I'm not chinese, for having a mushroom haircut, and playing the part of the class nerd. Kids would take stabs at me all day long for anything they could think of, flick my ears, push me around, etc. So, after one day of it being really bad, I cried like a baby in front of everyone. Later that day, I went home and tied an electrical extension cord around my closet doorway, (it wasn't attached at the ceiling) and tied it around my neck. I lept off the bed and the wire snapped and made a huge commotion. My dad came in and saw what happened and cried his eyes out. My dad is the typical stoneface dad and to see him like that changed me.

Years went by, and life didn't seem easier at all. I was typically outcasted with very few friends, no girls and bad acne. Suicide came up often during high school but playing music helped me get through it. Most recently, about 3 years ago, I couldn't take it anymore. My girl cheated on me, my family was constantly fighting and getting on my case, my band was doing crappy and I hated my job. After a huge family blowout, I took the car for a drive and said eff this. I sent texts to important people, and drove straight into an off-ramp wall going about 70-80. I shouldn't be here today. Luckily, I committed suicide incorrectly because I kept my seat belt on. Or it was fate. I left in an ambulance and barely a scratch on me. I have a scar inside my mouth on my lower lip and have some lower back pain, but other than that, I was fine. Fam came to the hospital, I spent a few days at there and they released me. Since, life has been constant ups and downs. Lately, the feelings have been creeping up on me again, to be honest. But, I always remember my friends and family's faces that night in the hospital and I realize there's more than me living my life. I'm lucky to be here and it wasn't my time yet, so I just take what life throws my way.

So, when you think the chips are down, tomorrow's a new day. Try to make the most of it. I'm not much for advice.


Cliff notes for you non readers:

Tried a couple times to off myself. No dice. Lesson learned.

im a tough guy but i teared up reading your story, man.

 

[godshammgod]

Originally Posted by kuya7macky23

Honestly, this is the most powerful thread I've seen on NT. I don't post often, as you can see by my membership date/post count, but when I saw this thread, I felt the need to post.

I guess you could classify me in the group that 'tried it, unsuccessfully.' If you want to make jokes, make jokes. Do you. But major props to the OP for taking the time to be honest, and props to anyone with serious and/or useful advice.

I've tried it more than once. In 7th grade, I was bullied beyond belief for being the 'chinese' kid, even though I'm not chinese, for having a mushroom haircut, and playing the part of the class nerd. Kids would take stabs at me all day long for anything they could think of, flick my ears, push me around, etc. So, after one day of it being really bad, I cried like a baby in front of everyone. Later that day, I went home and tied an electrical extension cord around my closet doorway, (it wasn't attached at the ceiling) and tied it around my neck. I lept off the bed and the wire snapped and made a huge commotion. My dad came in and saw what happened and cried his eyes out. My dad is the typical stoneface dad and to see him like that changed me.

Years went by, and life didn't seem easier at all. I was typically outcasted with very few friends, no girls and bad acne. Suicide came up often during high school but playing music helped me get through it. Most recently, about 3 years ago, I couldn't take it anymore. My girl cheated on me, my family was constantly fighting and getting on my case, my band was doing crappy and I hated my job. After a huge family blowout, I took the car for a drive and said eff this. I sent texts to important people, and drove straight into an off-ramp wall going about 70-80. I shouldn't be here today. Luckily, I committed suicide incorrectly because I kept my seat belt on. Or it was fate. I left in an ambulance and barely a scratch on me. I have a scar inside my mouth on my lower lip and have some lower back pain, but other than that, I was fine. Fam came to the hospital, I spent a few days at there and they released me. Since, life has been constant ups and downs. Lately, the feelings have been creeping up on me again, to be honest. But, I always remember my friends and family's faces that night in the hospital and I realize there's more than me living my life. I'm lucky to be here and it wasn't my time yet, so I just take what life throws my way.

So, when you think the chips are down, tomorrow's a new day. Try to make the most of it. I'm not much for advice.


Cliff notes for you non readers:

Tried a couple times to off myself. No dice. Lesson learned.

im a tough guy but i teared up reading your story, man.

 

[kuya7macky23]

GodShammGod- My bad homie. Haha.

Toine2983- Things are slowly getting better. But that always happens and 2 months later, I'm back in the dumps. Oh well. Gotta keep living.

SuperSaiyan415- Good. I'm glad I shared because sometimes, you need to step in someone else's shoes to appreciate your life.

 

[kuya7macky23]

GodShammGod- My bad homie. Haha.

Toine2983- Things are slowly getting better. But that always happens and 2 months later, I'm back in the dumps. Oh well. Gotta keep living.

SuperSaiyan415- Good. I'm glad I shared because sometimes, you need to step in someone else's shoes to appreciate your life.

 

[chiva1908]

0

 

[chiva1908]

0

 

[nomoplayinga]

everyday, especially now being a college grad with no job in sight

 

[nomoplayinga]

everyday, especially now being a college grad with no job in sight

 

[jumpman j 23]

jus remember op no matter how hard you have it.. theres someone else whos in worst shape.. you should never want to take your life no matter how hard it gets. In the end it will only make you stronger..

 

[jumpman j 23]

jus remember op no matter how hard you have it.. theres someone else whos in worst shape.. you should never want to take your life no matter how hard it gets. In the end it will only make you stronger..

 

[dugtrio]

kuya7macky, i hear you man. i didn't try to kill myself but i almost died in a car accident. i woke up in the hospital 11 days later and it was crazy how much people i didn't even think cared about me were stressin. i feel really bad about that. i put alot of people through hell. even after, #%%@ i put the most important girl in my life through it the worse up until now, she won't talk to me anymore. i'm not the same person. sometimes i seriously think i did some damage to my brain but just played it off to the doctors in speech therapy. i'm still just as smart and all that but my personality has changed. i'm mean as hell now. idk i try to check it though.

 

[dugtrio]

kuya7macky, i hear you man. i didn't try to kill myself but i almost died in a car accident. i woke up in the hospital 11 days later and it was crazy how much people i didn't even think cared about me were stressin. i feel really bad about that. i put alot of people through hell. even after, #%%@ i put the most important girl in my life through it the worse up until now, she won't talk to me anymore. i'm not the same person. sometimes i seriously think i did some damage to my brain but just played it off to the doctors in speech therapy. i'm still just as smart and all that but my personality has changed. i'm mean as hell now. idk i try to check it though.

 

[solewoman]

really, none this year. and between this year and all of last year its been rough. but ive gotten out of that mentality of thinking by going back to church and realizing that i take care of way too many people to leave this earth for my own selfish reasons. besides there is always someone out there who has it 10x worse.

 

[solewoman]

really, none this year. and between this year and all of last year its been rough. but ive gotten out of that mentality of thinking by going back to church and realizing that i take care of way too many people to leave this earth for my own selfish reasons. besides there is always someone out there who has it 10x worse.

 

[i am stewrat]

Originally Posted by ciph4

Originally Posted by GodShammgod

Originally Posted by I am StewRat

diagnosed with dysthymic depression a year + a half ago

it's a form of clinical depression, but instead of having really bad lows some of the time

i'm down most of the time, but when i'm not, life couldn't be sweeter

it's like a yo-yo

Makes me appreciate your beats even more..

yup

ahahaha thank you

 

[i am stewrat]

Originally Posted by ciph4

Originally Posted by GodShammgod

Originally Posted by I am StewRat

diagnosed with dysthymic depression a year + a half ago

it's a form of clinical depression, but instead of having really bad lows some of the time

i'm down most of the time, but when i'm not, life couldn't be sweeter

it's like a yo-yo

Makes me appreciate your beats even more..

yup

ahahaha thank you

 

[i am stewrat]

dp

 

[i am stewrat]

dp

 

[thestreetdream]

From April 2009 to Now? ummmmmmm bout 30 times. i even tried killing myself. Everything was and still hell in my life. Father died, broke as hell, had to help my mother out with bills and lonely most of the times....maybe i need help

 

[thestreetdream]

From April 2009 to Now? ummmmmmm bout 30 times. i even tried killing myself. Everything was and still hell in my life. Father died, broke as hell, had to help my mother out with bills and lonely most of the times....maybe i need help

 

[thestreetdream]

From April 2009 to Now? ummmmmmm bout 30 times. i even tried killing myself. Everything was and still hell in my life. Father died, broke as hell, had to help my mother out with bills and lonely most of the times....maybe i need help

 

[thestreetdream]

From April 2009 to Now? ummmmmmm bout 30 times. i even tried killing myself. Everything was and still hell in my life. Father died, broke as hell, had to help my mother out with bills and lonely most of the times....maybe i need help

 

[an dee 51o]

Originally Posted by dugtrio

kuya7macky, i hear you man. i didn't try to kill myself but i almost died in a car accident. i woke up in the hospital 11 days later and it was crazy how much people i didn't even think cared about me were stressin. i feel really bad about that. i put alot of people through hell. even after, #%%@ i put the most important girl in my life through it the worse up until now, she won't talk to me anymore. i'm not the same person. sometimes i seriously think i did some damage to my brain but just played it off to the doctors in speech therapy. i'm still just as smart and all that but my personality has changed. i'm mean as hell now. idk i try to check it though.

damn you're mpls right?

you had us worried. real glad you're ok. stay up.. some things just take time, ya know?

 

[an dee 51o]

Originally Posted by dugtrio

kuya7macky, i hear you man. i didn't try to kill myself but i almost died in a car accident. i woke up in the hospital 11 days later and it was crazy how much people i didn't even think cared about me were stressin. i feel really bad about that. i put alot of people through hell. even after, #%%@ i put the most important girl in my life through it the worse up until now, she won't talk to me anymore. i'm not the same person. sometimes i seriously think i did some damage to my brain but just played it off to the doctors in speech therapy. i'm still just as smart and all that but my personality has changed. i'm mean as hell now. idk i try to check it though.

damn you're mpls right?

you had us worried. real glad you're ok. stay up.. some things just take time, ya know?