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- Joined
- Jan 20, 2003
Cliff Notes:Man, it was a spider on the ceiling my girl pointed out and I was like I got it. Ceiling is 9 feet. I haven't jumped in years but c'mon 9 feet? I used to dunk 10ft like it was nothing so 9 I can still get.
I tried to just take 1 step and jump up and flatten him on the ceiling (I have like a 7'9 standing reach so you're talking like 15 inches to touch, maybe an extra 6 or so needed to mush him. My *** ain't even get the ceilingWanted to commit that on spot. 10 yrs ago his *** could have been on an 11+, literally at the top of the square and got that work (no exaggeration, I used to be able to get mid 11ft plus at 6ft tall, windmills, 360s, off glass, 1 hand 2 hands, 1 feet 2 feet, off dribble in traffic, sometimes dunk off a pure vert ((no dropstep)) all that).
I haven't hooped in 4 or 5 yrs too minus a very rare 30 minute session of 21 and light shooting/talking at lunch with coworkers but I'm not worried about that, I'm big and strong and long so I'll always be able to get where I want and finish either hand on some bullyball stuff if I can't blow past you but man I need to get back in the gym. From my prime athleticism, I am probably +75 lbs or so. Some is muscle, but most is not. What makes it worst is so many kats who I grew up playing with, who would even tell you they literally got better from me busting their *** daily, kats is in Germany, Canada, etc. playing some sort of pro and I'm sitting here at this boring desk job. Also I was good prior to the narcissistic #socmed era so I really have no proof I ever even touched a basketball before other than an old exhibition game I played with And 1 dudes and recorded but that was like 09 and even then I was starting to put on weight and get fat and declining fast.
DN got called out by a spider
Spider was at the top of the key in triple threat
DN played him loose
Spider got DN to bite for the pump fake
Spider felt bad since DN's girl was in the room so he didn't even take the open lane, at first.....
Spider said YOLO and went for boom-shaka-laka
DN chased and tried to pin the ball on the glass
DN tripped over the coffee table and broke it then realized it was some lint and not a spider.
DN is now single for trying to play basketball with lint.