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What is a normal folk
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I guess I’m not sure how literal you are being when you use “entire”, “whole” and “absolutely” but I think it might depend on what that’s person career is, what the success is that they are chasing and if they can actually attain it.

For example, would you say most pro athletes and coaches fall into the category of their careers being their entire personality and their whole life is centered around their job? What about senators and congressmen/women? Television personalities? Top Chefs and real estate developers? Sports agents like Rich Paul?

Like I am sure a lot of them are good people, care about their families, etc but at what point does it cross over into the realm of being too much?

Yes they do fall into those categories and I think it is extremely difficult for them to have long term relationships. Skip Bayless and Shaq and talked about how their careers have impacted their relationships just to name two people who are very career driven.

It's extremely rare to have everything in life, and more times than not sacrifices will be made.
 
I guess I’m not sure how literal you are being when you use “entire”, “whole” and “absolutely” but I think it might depend on what that’s person career is, what the success is that they are chasing and if they can actually attain it.

For example, would you say most pro athletes and coaches fall into the category of their careers being their entire personality and their whole life is centered around their job? What about senators and congressmen/women? Television personalities? Top Chefs and real estate developers? Sports agents like Rich Paul?

Like I am sure a lot of them are good people, care about their families, etc but at what point does it cross over into the realm of being too much?

it really is about having an understanding both of self & the other person…which then facilitates how people understand their roles in the relationship, even as things inevitably shift. i think today women in general are less concerned with what men want and aren’t raised to be concerned with how to be in relationships with men (i don’t necessarily think men are raised to be husbands/leaders today either but in order to get women, some understanding of what women want is a prerequisite, this isn’t typically the case for women —beyond maybe knowing guys are trying to smash— as they get the privilege of being pursued)…especially given the increasing lack of fathers in the home, this is compounded by the zeitgeist of culture not really espousing the value of men generally, especially the common man

which is to preface that it only crosses into being ‘too much’ if people aren’t self aware & don't understand their partner/spouse and/or don’t create/talk about those expectations/standards…people naturally will push/test boundaries, i think women (especially if they are concerned with professional achievement) today are just way more vocal about both stating them & trying to enforce them, whereas a lot men today are much more likely to avoid this/be silent about transgressions to keep the peace 😂 in the relationship or to maintain access to the 🍑
 
Relationships are tough nowadays because there is an absolute need for their to be two incomes though.

That’s really the driving wedge of all this - that even women that’d be content being a stay at home are forced into the job market - and it causes them to lose some of that femininity because workplaces are different completely and their general way of being is influenced by that…which makes sense because even 40 hours a week is a lot.
 
Relationships are tough nowadays because there is an absolute need for their to be two incomes though.

That’s really the driving wedge of all this - that even women that’d be content being a stay at home are forced into the job market - and it causes them to lose some of that femininity because workplaces are different completely and their general way of being is influenced by that…which makes sense because even 40 hours a week is a lot.

depending on the lifestyle & what folk are willing to compromise/sacrifice, a single earner household is possible if probably not exactly ideal for most…that said it isn’t that women are ‘forced’ into the job market, even those that would prefer not to work/be a housemaker/wife likely have desires & goals that go beyond home making & rearing children, and furthermore women have always worked in some capacity; there’s no reason working should necessarily cause a loss in femininity. granted some careers require a degree of competitiveness that is hard to switch off but i think it’s just that women today have not only much more agency as far choice but also that their understanding of men is both flawed & rudimentary/simple such that they don’t even connect to the fact they kinda need to operate a certain way around their men
 
Relationships are tough nowadays because there is an absolute need for their to be two incomes though.

That’s really the driving wedge of all this - that even women that’d be content being a stay at home are forced into the job market - and it causes them to lose some of that femininity because workplaces are different completely and their general way of being is influenced by that…which makes sense because even 40 hours a week is a lot.
Yea that shift started in the 70s.

Interestingly, that was also when the dollar stopped being backed by gold...
 
There is definitely nuance to it you can still be successful without letting your career become your entire personality. I don't want to be around anyone who's whole life is centered around their job. That sounds absolutely miserable.

recently caught up with my ex who i’m still friends with. the conversation was dominated by her work in silicon valley. and i was reminded of why we split.

given how hard she worked to ascend the corporate ladder and the generous compensation, i could understand why she (and folks from underrepresented communities) allows her career in tech to consume her but it’s not something i want for myself or my partner. end of the day, i’ve just accepted that people prioritize different things.

but damn i do miss her paying for trips and expensive dinners
 
recently caught up with my ex who i’m still friends with. the conversation was dominated by her work in silicon valley. and i was reminded of why we split.

given how hard she worked to ascend the corporate ladder and the generous compensation, i could understand why she (and folks from underrepresented communities) allows her career in tech to consume her but it’s not something i want for myself or my partner. end of the day, i’ve just accepted that people prioritize different things.

but damn i do miss her paying for trips and expensive dinners

What does she do? Did she do that business school scam?
 
What does she do? Did she do that business school scam?

works in global marketing, or some **** adjacent to that, within the FAANG network.

girl is gettin breaded out and skipped the b-school scam. meanwhile i got two masters and making a third of her salary :lol: she’s just a smart woman who grinded her way from detroit. i give her props but don’t envy her lifestyle
 
I work in tech. It’s wtv. There’s not much choice if you live in California - hard to earn enough otherwise. My wifey manages a retail coffee shop with 35 employees and makes 1/4th of what I make lol. It’s honestly unfair i definitely don’t do work that matters very much for that big of the pay disparity. She’s got a real job feels like i got some made up computer clicking job.
 
I work in tech. It’s wtv. There’s not much choice if you live in California - hard to earn enough otherwise. My wifey manages a retail coffee shop with 35 employees and makes 1/4th of what I make lol. It’s honestly unfair i definitely don’t do work that matters very much for that big of the pay disparity. She’s got a real job feels like i got some made up computer clicking job.

Which company? They hiring?

 
Alright broskis, I need some help with my text / chatting game. I feel like I'm pretty good in person, funny / witty... but I am not good at the initial convos and keeping the convo flowing. Any tips?
 
Alright broskis, I need some help with my text / chatting game. I feel like I'm pretty good in person, funny / witty... but I am not good at the initial convos and keeping the convo flowing. Any tips?

Send example of prior chats going to stale
 
Alright broskis, I need some help with my text / chatting game. I feel like I'm pretty good in person, funny / witty... but I am not good at the initial convos and keeping the convo flowing. Any tips?

Get the number ASAP and FaceTime.

Set up date after FT
 
Send example of prior chats going to stale

Usually I'll open with something like "Hey ____, how is your weekend going" or ask something specific about their profile, or give a compliment. Sometimes I'll use the pre-written prompts the app provides.

Bumble has the best looking women, at least for me in Denver, and I'll match with a decent amount - but a lot of times they won't send that first message so it times out. Even if they do send a first message of "Hey, Turbo!" and I send a similar reply... crickets.

So I feel like I need to say some **** to stand out, or something. The normal introductory chit-chat isnt keeping their attention.
 
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