Grandfather just died...

[weekz]

I don't know how I feel about it.  We were close when I was younger but when he moved when I was perhaps 11 or 12 to Florida we kind of grew estranged.
Is it weird that I'm not bawling and crying and making a big fuss?  My mom started crying immediately but I just kind of stood there when I heard the news.  It pained

me in my chest but beyond that nothing else.

The crazy part is the doctors gave him a week to two weeks left this morning, now he's dead.  The other thing is that we were to fly down to Orlando later this week to go see him again.

I didn't even get to see him once since we found out he was terminal.

Anyone else ever have less than reactionary feelings when tragedy strikes your family?

Is it weird that I'm not making a big fuss?

 

[D Fly]

It probably hasn't really hit you yet. Not that weird. I got like that at first when I lost a family member.

Regardless..sorry for your loss man. Be strong. 

 

[pepper]

Everyone grieves differently, and no one else can tell you how to get through this.
I hope your family pulls through this difficult time. Be strong

 

[airthompson]

Nothings wrong with that OP, but during the ceremony it'll hit you. Believe that.

 

[estevo]

Everything Pepper said. Sorry for you loss op.

 

[6 Rings G.O.A.T.]

Rest in peace.

 

[Deleted member 38182]

Bro, when I was little me, my mom, and little brother would go to Hong Kong and visit ym Grandmother for like a month every other summer till I was 10. It was awesome, my Grandma would take me all over Hong Kong even tho she was pretty old already. And then I started getting involved with sports and stuff here in America and hadn't been back to Hong Kong since (when I was 10). My Grandma died a few years after I had seen her, I was like 12 and it didn't really effect me for some reason. Actually, ya it didn't effect me whatsoever; I remember kinda faking sadness to comfort my mom but really it didn't matter much to me.

Anyways, fast forward to last summer at the age of 21 and no longer fluent in cantonese (11 years after I had last been to HK), my entire family went on a little vacation (plus my blond gf, probably one of the funniest things ever to watch us two walk around Asia, but thats a seperate story) back to Hong Kong and visited with all my family there (my Mom and Dad are the only ones in their families not in Hong Kong). My mom and uncle took my bro, gf, and myself to see my Grandma's grave and the minute I saw her urn spot in the wall at the cemetary with her picture exactly how I remembered her and I literally broke down in tears and cried like I had never cried before. **%+ was nuts. Just so many small memories of my Grandma from when I was a kid rushed into my head, and partially cuz I think I felt guilt for not seeing her before she died.

What I'm trying to say is, is that it'll hit you eventually. Grandparents are usually always pretty cool (false, this Grandma was the only cool one

). I'm sure you two had a cool relationship and shared special moments. Someday you'll look back and feel sadness.

 

[youngdoc]

Originally Posted by AirThompson

Nothings wrong with that OP, but during the ceremony it'll hit you. Believe that.

This.

As I grew older I didn't get to see my grandfather on my dad's side as often and while I wouldn't have called it estranged, we weren't really close either.

I didn't break down when I heard the news but at the open casket funeral I completely broke down. Never cried that hard in my life. Combination of seeing him and all of the pain on my family's faces was really tough

 

[Fong$tarr]

I usually never ever cry in any circumstanced now but when it comes to funerals, I can't control myself. It is something else to see someone that was once alive passed on in person.

Anyways....all my great grandparents and grandparents on both sides of my family have passed on. I am 31 and my parents are 60. It's such a scary thought to know your generation is getting to that age where my parents were once when their parents passed. Anyways...cherish the days while it is here.

 

[solemunchies]

Originally Posted by Mr Fongstarr

I usually never ever cry in any circumstanced now but when it comes to funerals, I can't control myself. It is something else to see someone that was once alive passed on in person.

This.

But everybody grieves differently, OP. Just stay strong & if the moment gets to you, let it out. Stay up!

 

[ruxxx]

First off RIP.

Not trying to sound macho but death just doesn't get to me like that.

My uncle passed away last year and I was just like "oh... damn...".

I know it sounds cold but that's just how i'm built for the most part.

Oh and funerals are a no no for me now that i'm an adult and don't have to go just because everyone else does.

 

[ninongjhey]

RIP man... just keep your head up!

 

[mrdieselfuel09]

RIP

Keep your head up.

 

[703flipfiend]

I've felt this pain 3 times. By nature, I've never been outwardly expressive with my emotions, although I felt pain inside. So, no it's not weird that you didn't make a big fuss out of it. Everyone expresses and reacts differently to death. It may be shock, it may be that you weren't really that close, but you're normal dude.

 

[papageorgeo510]

Don't worry, no one really dies. However, may his body RIP.

 

[rmay912]

Sorry for your loss. I went through the same thing earlier this year when my grandpa passed. Just about the same circumstance as you grew up near him but really didn't see him in years. I felt sadden but that was just about it, didn't even shed a tear. I feel you on what your saying. Just keep your head up.

 

[defyant 1]

Op,

 

This post is really hitting me close to the heart. My grandparents were in a horrible car accident in San Jose last wednesday; my grandmother died instantly.....

I got the call at work around 4:45 last week and it was just a mind-numbing feeling. We didnt know the status of my Grandmother at the time b/c hospitals dont give that info out over the phone. They would only tell you my grandfather was admitted and not mention my grandmother.  So, the fam was thinking she was taken to another local hospital - I called every hospital in a 45 mile radius to no avail. My moms is on her way from Sacramento to the bay and calls me on the road. She mentions that she too is having a hard time locating my grandmother ( her mother) and that " she is probably dead"

my moms says this to me through tears, sorrow, trying to drive, shock, disbelief ...etc..this made me break down at my desk and sob like a baby.

It was a horrible time and probably the hardest conversation I have ever had.  So, i leave work and head directly to the cannibis club, i was sooo stressed out I HAD to blow some Jack Herrer ; then I  walk directly to a bar ( disco volante) to get some whiskey as I waited for a ride ( my girl) to San Jose. I was in no shape to drive from Oakland. When I get to the hospital, seeing my family in tears was too much...until I walk in and see my grandfather, who escaped the accident w/ a deep cut to his leg. All he kept repeating was " it should have been me" over and over. andhow one mintue she was right next tohim, the next he is being cut fromthe vehicle.

..My grandfather is a big, strong, black man who has put it down and worked his knuckles to the bone to provide for his family. To see him broken down , in tears and just shocked was the knife in my heart . They were married for 65 years and for him to go back home that night knowing his wife/best friend/ridah since he was 18  was in a cold morgue ...i couldnt even imagine. My grandmother is from that generation where, she did the cooking, cleaning, paid the bills, etc...I cant even comprehend how my grandfather can even pick up the pieces and move on.

 

Right now, it feels like I am in that numb/zombie stage, just wlaking thru life emotionless, trying to cope and get to the next day. I know my grandmothweris gone, but it hasnt hit me yet that I will never see her smile again, never hear her sing happy birthday to me every year on the phone, never have her freidn chicken or sweet potatoes again. The funeral is this saturday  and I am not sure how I can even deal with it.

 

Op, it will hit you eventually. Just rememebr the good times you had with him and it should help with the pain.

 

 

 

Sorry for the long post but ...this is how I am feewling right now and this truly helped ..

 

thanks for listening NT.

 

[23kidd]

As stated, everybody grieves differently and i suppose your relationship to that person matters as well.


When my dads father passed away, i cried and just could not believe it. He pretty much raised me, something like my 2nd father. After finally letting it soak in i got a portrait of him on my arm so i know hes always with me.

However, my other grandfather(moms father) when he passed away it didn't really affect me as much. It was sad seeing my mother depressed but this death was easier to take unlike my other grandpa.

 

[thunderchunk69]

You be aight.
Everyone lives for a reason, take some positive examples from his life.

 

[finallyfamous]

Stay strong man. Remember the good times/memories

 

[SHERLOCK87]

Mine passed when i was maybe 13-14, didn't really affect me like it did my mother and sis.
i was sad, nonetheless.

 

[ruxxx]

I'm sorry for your loss as well Defyant.

 

[ins]

Same thing happened to me two summers ago... It hurt to think about it but i didn't cry. It wasn't until i was standing in the cemetery next to the coffin that i started balling my eyes out. *Word to dramatic soap operas*