Engaged/Married Folk How big was the engagement ring?

[scshift]

Originally Posted by Brolic Scholar

I know a dummy who dropped 20K on a wedding and lives in a two bedroom apt with his wife and two kids. I know another dummy who dropped over 10K on a wedding and hates his life. Weddings, rings and all that is a waste of money. If she loves you she can get by without it and will ride with your frugality.

20k??

After taxes, that's what a lot of people make in a year

 

[DCAllAfrican]

Originally Posted by Brolic Scholar

Originally Posted by Dirtylicious

^personally...3 months is crazy in my book... even 2 months would have been a ridiculous amount to pay for a ring to me.

I say.... pay what you can afford. don't go crazy, b/c down the road you will be paying for a wedding.

I know a dummy who dropped 20K on a wedding and lives in a two bedroom apt with his wife and two kids. I know another dummy who dropped over 10K on a wedding and hates his life. Weddings, rings and all that is a waste of money. If she loves you she can get by without it and will ride with your frugality.

Damn 20K. Damn is all I can say.

 

[lazyj10]

One of my good friend's wife is a jewelery designer. She was able to get me a IF, E 3/4 carrot for a great deal. I then incorporated the two stones from my Grandmother's ring (split amongst my family) into the setting (white gold)...all in all I didn't break the bank and my wife isn't one who wants attention, especially in regards to jewelry.

That's my underlying advice, know what she'd be comfortable wearing.

If you're reading this, Yuku worked....

 

[ldj]

Originally Posted by scshift

Originally Posted by Brolic Scholar

I know a dummy who dropped 20K on a wedding and lives in a two bedroom apt with his wife and two kids. I know another dummy who dropped over 10K on a wedding and hates his life. Weddings, rings and all that is a waste of money. If she loves you she can get by without it and will ride with your frugality.

20k??

After taxes, that's what a lot of people make in a year

I agree. i find it odd and kinda backwards thinking to have no home/auto (in terms of owning them) no savings for the future, and the only thing of value you have is something that fits in the palm of your hand. especially in these times with unemployment on the rise, coupled with the increase cost of living, a expensive ring/wedding wouldnt be a wise decision. if you plan a future with a person, YOU PLAN A FUTURE WITH A PERSON. 

  

 

[scshift]

Originally Posted by LDJ

Originally Posted by scshift

20k??

After taxes, that's what a lot of people make in a year

I agree. i find it odd and kinda backwards thinking to have no home/auto (in terms of owning them) no savings for the future, and the only thing of value you have is something that fits in the palm of your hand. especially in these times with unemployment on the rise, coupled with the increase cost of living, a expensive ring/wedding wouldnt be a wise decision. if you plan a future with a person, YOU PLAN A FUTURE WITH A PERSON.

I mean everyone has their own desires and with their money they can spend it how they want.

But I don't see the logic of blowing so much money on one event. Sure, you could say the memories last a lifetime, but do you need to spend that much money for memories? I've had nights with $10 in my pocket and ended up having the time of my life. It doesn't matter I guess, people can spend their money however they want. But sometimes they should look more into the future.

 

[DCAllAfrican]

Originally Posted by LDJ

I agree. i find it odd and kinda backwards thinking to have no home/auto (in terms of owning them) no savings for the future, and the only thing of value you have is something that fits in the palm of your hand. especially in these times with unemployment on the rise, coupled with the increase cost of living, a expensive ring/wedding wouldnt be a wise decision. if you plan a future with a person, YOU PLAN A FUTURE WITH A PERSON. 

  

Human's love for the material, that is supposed to signify how much you "really" love someone. Very boneheaded to me as well.

I agree with Monta.

 

[jthagreat]

Originally Posted by Mojodmonky1

Originally Posted by Dirtylicious

Originally Posted by chickhien

if you want it to bling, you gotta get the right color and clarity. i suggest not to go lower than a D color and VS2 on clarity and GIA certified.
this is a great site http://www.bluenile.com/diamonds/diamond-education

no lower than D?  but that's the best color there is...
OP...F is still in the colorless range (DEF).  that's the lowest I'd go.

Personally, I went with SI2 since you still need a loupe to see the flaws, and they're invisible to the naked eye.

get an ideal cut.. that will make it shine and sparkle

def get a GIA certified diamond though.

sounds like Dirty and I were on the same page in terms of what we were looking for.

I went SI2 when I bought mine as well.  It may sound silly (especially when we are talking about friggin diamonds here) but I didnt want to pay for something I cant see.  SI2 inclusions are not visible to the naked eye.  I dont expect my wife to trade in or trade up her stone unless we win the lotto or something like that, so I wasnt as concerned with the resale/investment aspect of it.

The most important thing in my opinion is the cut.  You can have a colorless stone with excellent clarity but if its not cut correctly you will not get maximum light reflection through it.  Try to look up some stuff online to find out what ideal cut proportions/angles are and compare accordingly.  Find an honest jeweler and ask them to school you on what you should be looking for in terms of cut.

GIA certified is the way to go.  That way you know what you are getting, especially in terms of cut since all the cut dimensions and specs are on the certificate itself.

I got engaged back in 2008 and paid a little over $16K for stone.  My girl wanted a basic setting (18K white gold tiffany style solitaire setting) so they threw that in for free.  1.83ct, G, SI2 with ideal cut dimensions.

  

 

[ldj]

Originally Posted by scshift

Originally Posted by LDJ

Originally Posted by scshift

20k??

After taxes, that's what a lot of people make in a year

I agree. i find it odd and kinda backwards thinking to have no home/auto (in terms of owning them) no savings for the future, and the only thing of value you have is something that fits in the palm of your hand. especially in these times with unemployment on the rise, coupled with the increase cost of living, a expensive ring/wedding wouldnt be a wise decision. if you plan a future with a person, YOU PLAN A FUTURE WITH A PERSON.

I mean everyone has their own desires and with their money they can spend it how they want.

But I don't see the logic of blowing so much money on one event. Sure, you could say the memories last a lifetime, but do you need to spend that much money for memories? I've had nights with $10 in my pocket and ended up having the time of my life. It doesn't matter I guess, people can spend their money however they want. But sometimes they should look more into the future.

thats the ironic part about it, the whole purpose reasoning behind a marriage is spending the future with someone, yet putting their future in a single event/enanament object. if you use it now how will you live to see the future. thats why i always thought the older ways made more logic of getting married. the parents paid for most, becausse theoritically the have cemented their future, thus you can spend your money on the long term things your vowing to have ie house/cars/kids etc....
  

 

[inshoekid]

I spent just shy of 20K on my girls ring, 2ct princess cut center stone, G, si2, and then between .75-1ct in the band. I can't remember at this point. She loved it and that was all that really mattered to me. I had the money saved so I didn't really think to hard on it, it was around 2 months salary. I got it from bluenile which was the best price I could find. It was a lot to spend on a ring, but we were already pretty financially stable, so it didn't impact our lives at all.

 

[scshift]

Originally Posted by LDJ

thats the ironic part about it, the whole purpose reasoning behind a marriage is spending the future with someone, yet putting their future in a single event/enanament object. if you use it now how will you live to see the future. thats why i always thought the older ways made more logic of getting married. the parents paid for most, becausse theoritically the have cemented their future, thus you can spend your money on the long term things your vowing to have ie house/cars/kids etc....

Honestly in my opinion a marriage shouldn't even involve money. No need for any elaborate ceremonies, expensive gifts, none of that - just a good time between bride and groom and their families.

But this thread is quickly turning into a debate over marriage because of our argument, and OP is about to pop the big question, so we should chill and take this somewhere else because the dude probably already has enough doubts and worries going through his head as is about proposing.

 

[i just got lucky]

Originally Posted by scshift

Originally Posted by LDJ

Originally Posted by scshift

20k??

After taxes, that's what a lot of people make in a year

I agree. i find it odd and kinda backwards thinking to have no home/auto (in terms of owning them) no savings for the future, and the only thing of value you have is something that fits in the palm of your hand. especially in these times with unemployment on the rise, coupled with the increase cost of living, a expensive ring/wedding wouldnt be a wise decision. if you plan a future with a person, YOU PLAN A FUTURE WITH A PERSON.

I mean everyone has their own desires and with their money they can spend it how they want.

But I don't see the logic of blowing so much money on one event. Sure, you could say the memories last a lifetime, but do you need to spend that much money for memories? I've had nights with $10 in my pocket and ended up having the time of my life. It doesn't matter I guess, people can spend their money however they want. But sometimes they should look more into the future.

$20K is not a lot for a wedding

- I've been to a few weddings in the $30k++++ range.  I guess it just depends where you're from and how much you make.

I'm not sure where you guys are from (not from CA/probably in HS/from the south) but weddings in Cali are expensive.  Imagine taking you're girl out to a nice dinner, so that's about a good $30-$50 plate, multiply that by 2 or 3 depends what kind of (venue/location/X # of stars for a hotel) you have then multiply that by the number of your guests...and that's just for the reception dinner.

I'm actually helping my soon to be wife plan our wedding and she asked me to find a venue that will accommodate 200 of our guests (friends and family)...and yes, 200 guests is a big $*% wedding. Our budget is $20k-25k for the entire wedding (so $10k-$15k for the venue) is tough.
 

 

[inshoekid]

Originally Posted by i just got lucky

Originally Posted by scshift

Originally Posted by LDJ


I agree. i find it odd and kinda backwards thinking to have no home/auto (in terms of owning them) no savings for the future, and the only thing of value you have is something that fits in the palm of your hand. especially in these times with unemployment on the rise, coupled with the increase cost of living, a expensive ring/wedding wouldnt be a wise decision. if you plan a future with a person, YOU PLAN A FUTURE WITH A PERSON.

I mean everyone has their own desires and with their money they can spend it how they want.

But I don't see the logic of blowing so much money on one event. Sure, you could say the memories last a lifetime, but do you need to spend that much money for memories? I've had nights with $10 in my pocket and ended up having the time of my life. It doesn't matter I guess, people can spend their money however they want. But sometimes they should look more into the future.

$20K is not a lot for a wedding

- I've been to a few weddings in the $30k++++ range.  I guess it just depends where you're from and how much you make.

I'm not sure where you guys are from (not from CA/probably in HS/from the south) but weddings in Cali are expensive.  Imagine taking you're girl out to a nice dinner, so that's about a good $30-$50 plate, multiply that by 2 or 3 depends what kind of (venue/location/X # of stars for a hotel) you have then multiply that by the number of your guests...and that's just for the reception dinner.

I'm actually helping my soon to be wife plan our wedding and she asked me to find a venue that will accommodate 200 of our guests (friends and family)...and yes, 200 guests is a big $*% wedding. Our budget is $20k-25k for the entire wedding (so $10k-$15k for the venue) is tough.
 

If you can do 200 guest for 25K then you did it right.  We had 150, and spent close to 50k.  I'm not sure of the exact price since her parents paid for it all.  But I know a few weeks out from the wedding they had already spent over 40k, and that didn't include the open bar where I probably drank a few hundred dollars worth of alcohol by myself.  The flight to our honeymoon the next morning was not a good time.

 

[dathbgboy]

1/2ct. for $1200. It aint easy bein a college student

 

[ldj]

Originally Posted by i just got lucky

Originally Posted by scshift

Originally Posted by LDJ


I agree. i find it odd and kinda backwards thinking to have no home/auto (in terms of owning them) no savings for the future, and the only thing of value you have is something that fits in the palm of your hand. especially in these times with unemployment on the rise, coupled with the increase cost of living, a expensive ring/wedding wouldnt be a wise decision. if you plan a future with a person, YOU PLAN A FUTURE WITH A PERSON.

I mean everyone has their own desires and with their money they can spend it how they want.

But I don't see the logic of blowing so much money on one event. Sure, you could say the memories last a lifetime, but do you need to spend that much money for memories? I've had nights with $10 in my pocket and ended up having the time of my life. It doesn't matter I guess, people can spend their money however they want. But sometimes they should look more into the future.

$20K is not a lot for a wedding

- I've been to a few weddings in the $30k++++ range.  I guess it just depends where you're from and how much you make.

I'm not sure where you guys are from (not from CA/probably in HS/from the south) but weddings in Cali are expensive.  Imagine taking you're girl out to a nice dinner, so that's about a good $30-$50 plate, multiply that by 2 or 3 depends what kind of (venue/location/X # of stars for a hotel) you have then multiply that by the number of your guests...and that's just for the reception dinner.

I'm actually helping my soon to be wife plan our wedding and she asked me to find a venue that will accommodate 200 of our guests (friends and family)...and yes, 200 guests is a big $*% wedding. Our budget is $20k-25k for the entire wedding (so $10k-$15k for the venue) is tough.
 

im specifically speaking on the ring. and yea geographically etc plays a part also. also venue etc.. i mean its like a bday party/graduation etc.... i mean you have the sweet 16 shows type, then the regular run of the mill type. cause ive been to some down home weddings and i know them folks then spend no 20k.

  

 

[benssick]

Dont get married!

 

[y2kingsfan]

1.2 carats, princess cut. very simple, what she wanted.

 

[crumps brother]

Originally Posted by i just got lucky

Originally Posted by Dirtylicious

Originally Posted by chickhien

if you want it to bling, you gotta get the right color and clarity. i suggest not to go lower than a D color and VS2 on clarity and GIA certified.
this is a great site http://www.bluenile.com/diamonds/diamond-education

no lower than D?  but that's the best color there is...
OP...F is still in the colorless range (DEF).  that's the lowest I'd go.

Personally, I went with SI2 since you still need a loupe to see the flaws, and they're invisible to the naked eye.

get an ideal cut.. that will make it shine and sparkle

def get a GIA certified diamond though.

I dont about no lower than a D for color.

This is an H color with SI2 2.0 Carat total weight.  Center stone is about 1.10 Ct.

i went with the 3 x Monthly income. 

proposed August this year.

agreed, you can easily get away with something below colorless

my wifes is an I (GIA)

OP, look at a lot of stones with different color, clarity, and carats to see where you want to put your money

initially, i wanted colorless but went with a near colorless to get something in the 1 carat range

it's easier to see that mines not colorless since it's on white paper but when worn it's not as apparent...also, less apparent if put on a gold band and when worn on a hand

as far as the cut...shoot for ideal but don't get anything below excellent in my opinion

as far as clarity you can easily go for a lower grading there as long as the inclusions are not visible to the naked eye

 

[sillyputty]

Originally Posted by DCAllAmerican

Originally Posted by LDJ

I agree. i find it odd and kinda backwards thinking to have no home/auto (in terms of owning them) no savings for the future, and the only thing of value you have is something that fits in the palm of your hand. especially in these times with unemployment on the rise, coupled with the increase cost of living, a expensive ring/wedding wouldnt be a wise decision. if you plan a future with a person, YOU PLAN A FUTURE WITH A PERSON. 

  

Human's love for the material, that is supposed to signify how much you "really" love someone. Very boneheaded to me as well.

I agree with Monta.

might as well ramp the "why are we getting 'married?'" talk up again.
I say it before and I say it again...once I realized how much of a farce many of our rituals and religion were in general, then a bunch of stuff started falling apart in society...

like I can't rationally justify doing more than half of the thing we currently do merely for ceremonial or ritualistic reasons...its part of the reason why more religious people tend to also be more nationalistic or jingoistic. 

THAT BEING SAID...the ring posted in here do look nice, but I really want to see a poll of all the people whose spouses/GFs encouraged them to get bigger/more expensive rings.

Also, did any of you have significant others that said they NEED to have a ring? If so, why? 

 

[mojodmonky1]

^ my wife is a pretty low key chick and she would have been happy with a cracker jack ring.  She never asked for it to a certain size or price or anything, atleast not on the front end.  Once she knew that I was going to get her a ring, the only input she had was the shape and setting (which is totally fair).  To be bluntly honest, I paid what I paid as much for myself as I did for her.  I didn't want her rockin the smallest or dingiest ring amonst her friends.  For my sake, I wanted her to atleast be "par for the course", even if she doesnt care.  Some of her friends (not all) are married to bankers/consultants/doctors and the likes, and I cant compete with that kinda money (we talking $40K+ rings).  Its a pride thing, and sometimes pride makes you do stupid things.  Not saying that my purchase was stupid persay, cause the wife loves it, and I love that she loves it.

Here's a terrible pic of the rings (has our photographers watermark over it).  The wedding band next to the engagement ring wasnt as bad, only ran about $2K.  I wanted to go to home depot and make my own wedding band out of stainless steel (wife nixed that idea), but ended up getting a tungsten carbide band off Amazon for $35

.  Just to give you sense of scale, my band is a 8mm wide (I have fat fingers, so a skinnier band would have looked too funny).

 

[richiecotite]

.53 carat
round cut
G color
VVS2

luckily my wife is small, so it looks a bit bigger

unfortunately, she only had 1 real requirement/request, so I had to cop that blue box 

 

[an dee 51o]

People really do that three months of your salary thing?

You know that was invented by the diamond industry, right? As is the "rarity" of diamonds. Diamonds are freaking everywhere, they just keep a ridiculous amount in reserve.

 

[i just got lucky]

Originally Posted by Mojodmonky1

^ my wife is a pretty low key chick and she would have been happy with a cracker jack ring.  She never asked for it to a certain size or price or anything, atleast not on the front end.  Once she knew that I was going to get her a ring, the only input she had was the shape and setting (which is totally fair).  To be bluntly honest, I paid what I paid as much for myself as I did for her.  I didn't want her rockin the smallest or dingiest ring amonst her friends.  For my sake, I wanted her to atleast be "par for the course", even if she doesnt care.  Some of her friends (not all) are married to bankers/consultants/doctors and the likes, and I cant compete with that kinda money (we talking $40K+ rings).  Its a pride thing, and sometimes pride makes you do stupid things.  Not saying that my purchase was stupid persay, cause the wife loves it, and I love that she loves it.

Here's a terrible pic of the rings (has our photographers watermark over it).  The wedding band next to the engagement ring wasnt as bad, only ran about $2K.  I wanted to go to home depot and make my own wedding band out of stainless steel (wife nixed that idea), but ended up getting a tungsten carbide band off Amazon for $35

.  Just to give you sense of scale, my band is a 8mm wide (I have fat fingers, so a skinnier band would have looked too funny).

The wedding band that I bought looks similar to that. 

 

[dalilboy]

i think i got my wife was .80