Does anyone have parents who are addicted to drugs?

[brownballa35]

Hello this may not be the right place for this but does anyone have/had parents who are addicted to drugs?  My Father was an abuser when I was younger, but when my little Sis was born he gave it all up. Over the past year or so our family has been through a lot and I know his life has been very stressful. I suspect and fear that he has started using again.  

I dont know what to say or do.  Any and all advice is greatly appreciated.. 

 

[c hanna]

is he acting different or saying weird things?

 

[brownballa35]

Hanacheezy,   he has been distant and has said a few things that made me worry about him.   

 

[Ox.]

just ask him

 

[brownballa35]

oxpenguin,   I dont know how to approach him with a question like that.  come right out and say it?   We have a pretty good relationship but he is very hard to talk to.

 

[6 Rings G.O.A.T.]

No.. Thank god!!

 

[andee]

If you're scared that he's using again, he probably is. If you confront him, he'll likely lie to you or get very angry and/or upset at you. I would continue to observe him for a little longer and if he continues to act the same or seems worse, you need to let him know that you can't be a part of his life if he keeps using. It will be really hard, but he has to know that there will be serious consequences if he continues to use. If he is using, he needs to get into rehab and start a 12 step program like AA or NA. What is his drug of choice?

Hope everything works out and feel free to PM me if you have any other questions. I'm a recovering heroin addict, so I'm pretty knowledgeable about this type of stuff.

 

[brownballa35]

ANDEE,  Thank you man for the advice and kind words. I believe its coke or crack. Im very scared that he will do something with out giving a warning and will leave me and us broken.

 

[crime wave]

Wow, this is depressing. Hope you get to the bottom of your fathers addiction.

 

[nationaltruckerdave]

Bring the wait period back please

 

[iblink]

Well kinda. My dad was on stuff from what I was told. But he's been serving a life sentence for the last 13 years. I never really knew him to build up a relationship or ask about his past.

With that said, appreciate the man you have. Like someone already said, don't just ask him. Wait til you have proof. Then explain to him what he means to you and your family.

Good luck OP.

 

[Ox.]

oxpenguin,   I dont know how to approach him with a question like that.  come right out and say it?   We have a pretty good relationship but he is very hard to talk to.

yea dude, no need to sugar coat it

 

[brownballa35]

Crime Wave,  Thank you man. it is very depressing.   I know inside he is hurting and it is killing me.  Thank you for the kind words

 

[mplsdunk]

pops went to rehab for drinking i'm pretty sure he was snorting coke too. i didn't know because i went 10 years without seeing him.

 

[brownballa35]

iblink, Thank you. I am very sad to hear about your father. 

 

[brownballa35]

MPLSdunk, I hope he is doing well and Thank you.  I couldnt imagine not seeing my father for 10 years.  I really appreciate all the advice from everyone. 

 

[mplsdunk]

he's cool. i cut him off for a while because he was acting real foul. still hasn't met my daughter who is 6.

 

[brownballa35]

MPLSdunk,  Im glad to hear hes atleast ok. I am sorry to hear he hasent met your daughter yet.   I dont know if I could cut him out of my life for any amount of time. I really am scared and feel that I need to be here and be strong for him.   

 

[onewearz]

my dad has done cocaine for as long as i can remember. i'm 36 now and it wasn't till i turned 34 and decided to have a man to man wit em that i said something. it was to the point where everyone knew, lying was useless and he still denied it. i swore to myself that i was gonna bark on him about it, had it all planned out and when the time came i cried like i never thought i would.

it's hard to approach a parent with something like this, especially if you really care about this person. approaching my dad was by far the hardest thing but it needed to be done. as far as i know he's clean now but with cocaine, thats something he'll deal with daily for life the way he abused it. i wish you the best of luck whenever you decide to confront him with it. my only advice would be to not beat around the bush, be direct, straight forward and if you wind up crying, good. let him see that pain, it also lets him know it aint just about him and he's hurting his family also because trust, he aint thinking about anyone at all but himself.

my best to all of you man, this **** is one of the hardest things to deal with ......

 

[brownballa35]

onewearz, Thank you so much man.  This is def one of the hardest things I have ever had to deal with and I do appreciate from my heart you sharing your story with me and the advice.

 

[gllahone84]

I think everyone's reply in here could be pretty lengthy...

Growing up my pops was a heavy drinker...could down a fifth and go operate on the animals...tiger's blood for real.
He eventually stopped...but could never kick cigs.
Tasted alcohol for the first time from my pops...he use to call it "colored water" ...passed me the glass and I ran straight for the bathroom to spit it out...

I was born during the inception of crack...and I knew plenty of classmates that had parents addicted to crack. My mother doesn't touch anything. Rarely seen her drink until I turned 21.

 

[brownballa35]

gllahone84,  yes I know and I do appreciate every person who took the time to read and share.  Im glad to hear your father stopped drinking, sad to hear he never quit the cigs. My grandfather (who was everything to me)  was a big drinker and smoker and he passed of liver cancer not too long ago, I know how bad these things can be for you and I saw first had how they drain the life right out of you.

I dont mind reading lengthy replies, and I thank you for yours.

 

[tedrjr033]

I have unfortunately dealt with this for most of life. Both of my parents started using cocaine and heroin when I was in the 4th grade. On top of that they were both alcoholics too. It was pretty rough because they both ended up losing their jobs and lost everything they owned, My mom is now serving 5 years for possession and my father passed away last year. It gets easier with time to accept. I'm 21 now and It does not really bother me anymore like it used it. Drugs really are a scary thing though. They change people so much. When you are on drugs, you don't give a damn about anything  else except your next high. It changed my parents so much mentally too. It was like they became so disconnected from society and did not know what normal was anymore. If that makes any sense? I know it can be rough though man. If you need anyone to talk to about you can post here or PM me about. I dont mind talking about it. 

 

[brownballa35]

tedrjr033, I am very sorry to hear about your father passing. I want to also thank you as well as everyone who has offered to listen.  What you said did make sense to me, drug and alcohol abuse is not new to my family. My older sister is a meth addict and bc she doesnt have her stuff together my Dad has been raising her daughter.  I will never understand how she could choose a drug over her only daughter.

 

[solewoman]

I dated a guy who's mother had just got out of rehab but went right back to using. It's so horrible to see she was skin and bones and every time I'd see her shed ask me for money when he wasn't around. He was messed up emotionally for not having a mother growing up and his father being sometimey in his life. I pray for them everyday.