Confessions

[squarianaa]

Been almost 2 months since I last posted a confession on here, but unsurprisingly it's the same ****.

Me and my girl just got into another argument (shocker) then calls me out says I'm acting like an *** hole then right after shoots me a text and says **** you. To some up this argument as a whole, she's gotta start volunteering next week for her major (Nursing) and we lose Saturday's together, she asked what my plans were and if I wanted to hang out with her. I said I might hang out with my friend and workout with him. So she got all mad, saying how I don't think of her first and she's basically a second option if my plans don't work out. Which I will admit, I've caused that assumption come up a few times and I'm not proud of it. 

Now I've dealt with a lotta **** from her, sometimes I continue to wonder why I deal with it. We've gone back and forth from thinking of breaking up and what not for a bit now, and right now I think those two texts in this argument just pushed my limit over of tolerating bull ****. Yeah, arguments have been mainly the cause of me doing some stupid **** and I've tried to watch it all and improve myself for us, but I am/have trying/tried so hard to be better. And another fight we had she basically said something along the lines of, "Yeah I know you're trying but it isn't enough." And that hit me too.

And I had to go to my dad for some advice and hear what he had to say, being married and all and having more experience and what not. He made me realize something I couldn't see for myself, that my girl right now is a high maintenance. He just kept it real with me, saying he's not trynna tell me to break up with her and everything. He noticed that things haven't been so great between me and her, despite me always saying things are great. But what he had to say to me personally helped me and keep my cool, till now. And from my last post here and the advice ya'll gave to me, I really took it into mind but **** with her is just in the ****** rocks now. Pretty sure it's gon end by the end of the day or anytime soon. Sure it'll be the usual heartbreak and all, but **** happens.

Anyways had to get that off my chest, appreciate the advice and what you all have to say in advance.

 

[kixsandgaming]

I've been having suicidal thoughts all this and last month

 

[SC kid]

Do u want to die or do u want to really LIVE

 

[kixsandgaming]

Do u want to die or do u want to really LIVE

Honestly I feel like dying is the best option for me right now.

 

[SC kid]

I can honestly tell you it isnt.

Think about the pain your family will feel for the rest of their lives.

Theres no telling what the future holds.

 

[legreyfoxx]

I've been having suicidal thoughts all this and last month

PM me if you need to talk. I've gone through suicidal thoughts, and occasionally it will come up again. I've found it kind of hard opening up to people I know, not that I open up to people I don't know but bottling those thoughts inside really will enhance the desire to wanting to off yourself and any depressing thoughts. I'm struggling with you fam, again, if you need to talk just PM me.

 

[kixsandgaming]

To be real with you I don't think my family would even give a **** if I were to off myself rite now I think they would be happy because they can be finally free of a ****up that I am.

 

[SC kid]

We would give a ****

If thats how they feel, pull your bootstraps up and show them you are not a **** up.

I dont eem know u but i believe in you.

Human will is a strong thing.

You can do it.

 

[Sir San Diego]

I've been having suicidal thoughts all this and last month

Who in your life can you tell anything to?

 

[kixsandgaming]

Most of my friends left the city and we barely talk as it is. There was my girl but we've been having problems and I don't think it'll be too long till we split. It feels like I'm in this alone. Your the only people I can talk to and your the only people that seem to really care

 

[SC kid]

Its nice in miami today.

You should go out..get a bite to eat...haircut maybe.

Put your dilemas on the back burner for a day


If i lived in florida id kick it with ya

 

[Sir San Diego]

Most of my friends left the city and we barely talk as it is. There was my girl but we've been having problems and I don't think it'll be too long till we split. It feels like I'm in this alone. Your the only people I can talk to and your the only people that seem to really care

So the answer is yourself.

You manifest your own destiny my dude. You live in a story that you're writing from moment to moment. This is a dark chapter, but it's not the climax fam. Take a break from the doom and gloom and go somewhere sunny and give this next question some serious thought:

"How do YOU want your book to end and when people pick it up to read after you're dead and gone, what do you want to be remembered for?"

We all go through it. Not all of us talk about it, but we all struggle with something. If you didn't care about yourself, you wouldn't have asked for help in here. Take that little bit of light and keep moving toward it until it intensifies.

Also if it's over with your girl, pull off the bandaid fam. No sense in being miserable.

 

[kixsandgaming]

Its nice in miami today.

You should go out..get a bite to eat...haircut maybe.

Put your dilemas on the back burner for a day


If i lived in florida id kick it with ya

I'd love to jus kick it today and clear my head but I'm stuck at the workplace.

Whenever you come down to Miami I'd like to hang to

 

[SC kid]

Sure thing

 

[ROYGBiV]

Honestly I feel like dying is the best option for me right now.

Don't think like that.

NT is filled with people who are readying and willing to help. Stay up B.

 

[shortyoscart]

Feels like I'm merely existing with my current quality of life. Multiple factors but a new job elsewhere will help start the relief. Just can't currently land anything. Everything takes patience but it's running thin.

 

[smedroc]

I wish I could be a writer. I have people all the time tell me I should start a music blog. I just am afraid nobody would give a damn :roll eyes and that most people I'm around don't geek out about music the way I do.

I also wish I could be a photographer. I just feel like I don't quite have the eye for it, and don't really know where to start.

Doesn't matter if it bombs dude. Make the blog for yourself. Anything that comes of it beyond that is a bonus.

Same with photography. Just start taking pictures. Learn the technical side, composition, lighting etc. You will get better.

Take away the pressure of being good/making a living from it and it's easy to start anything.

You can up the ante when and if it becomes viable.

 

[Mark Antony]

Spring is near, get some sun and some exercise. Vitamin D deficiency has real effects.

 

[cragmatic]

Doesn't matter if it bombs dude. Make the blog for yourself. Anything that comes of it beyond that is a bonus.

Same with photography. Just start taking pictures. Learn the technical side, composition, lighting etc. You will get better.

Take away the pressure of being good/making a living from it and it's easy to start anything.

You can up the ante when and if it becomes viable.

Thanks for the inspiration. I've started to write here and there. I'm way too critical of myself but I'm gonna try to put something together and see what I think of it.

 

[2Sky0waY6]

First rant is about school. I'm going for Aircraft Mechanics.

Second rant is my job.

I'm getting tired of the whites around me saying slick racist shh. Assuming that because we're black we're less educated,our positions were giving to us, we all think and act alike and that they're just better than us and started every damn thang. I'm tired of it bruh!! I'm tired of whites acting like they're dumb to a situation just to ask you a low-key damn near racist question. I can't tell if you're being serious or it's a insult disguised as a question. I'm tired of my white classmates questioning the expertise of our black instructors. Cut it out these guys are licensed A&P mechanics with a *** load of experience, who are you to say they don't know as much as a fellow classmate with no A&P certification.

I'm tired of blacks at my job going hard on other blacks to impress the white man that's in charge of him. I'm tired of blacks at my job tryna to get each other fired because a brother has some spine and won't go for just about anything you say or do to him.
I'm sick and tired of the union at my job backing the company 100% on everything, what's the point of a union if you're not riding with your employees.
I'm tired of the union letting the company make up rules that aren't in the contract we signed. Fools are stealing employees money and the union is cool with it.

I hate sounding like the angry black guy because I'm really laid back but mane this shh getting on my damn nerves.

I feel you on this. 

I got 4 months left with the program myself. Even students question your intelligence, mf your in the same class as me learning the same thing. We got put on teams to tear down and re build an engine and I swear, my team mates looking over my shoulders on everything I do as if I don't know how to do it, Its all on the book, I can read also mf! So now i just stand around and hand them screws as long as i pass im good cant wait to get this program over with so i dont gotta see these mf anymore.  

I use to work for this company that is union and its gotten so weak they might as well not even have a union anymore, they even voted out the pension plan smh, good thing i left cause I heard its gotten worst.

I absolutely hate snitches, you don't know what they're going through with their personal lives, they got mouths to feed, bills to pay. You dont know what their capable of doing when they find out you snitch on them and it cost them their job. 

 

[cragmatic]

If anybody is bored, I finally started my music blog. For something that I haven't put too much effort into creating so far it isn't too bad. Posted my review of the Yeezus tour last night. My original post of it somehow got deleted so I got a little lazy the second time around.

Thanks for everyone who told me to just go ahead and start one.


http://rhythmicsynesthesia.blogspot.com/2017/04/the-yeezus-tour.html?m=1

 

[squarianaa]

If anybody is bored, I finally started my music blog. For something that I haven't put too much effort into creating so far it isn't too bad. Posted my review of the Yeezus tour last night. My original post of it somehow got deleted so I got a little lazy the second time around.

Thanks for everyone who told me to just go ahead and start one.


http://rhythmicsynesthesia.blogspot.com/2017/04/the-yeezus-tour.html?m=1

Good ****, glad you decided to come around and start one up. I read your post and I thought it was really good man, real insightful for people who didn't see him live

 

[cragmatic]

Good ****, glad you decided to come around and start one up. I read your post and I thought it was really good man, real insightful for people who didn't see him live

Thanks man! I really appreciate it. I figured with how memorable the Yeezus tour was it would be easy to write about, and I captured some pretty decent shots. I need to go back and proof read it lol, as it was 12:30 last night when I finished and was anxious to play from Breath of The Wild.

 

[tekthemaestro]

i almost lost control and hit a woman tonight. i dont know this woman. long story short, a dog has been outside barking all night. literally the last 7 hours. i went to check it out/shut it up and the dog was huddled in a corner of this persons patio (fenced in) soaking wet from the sprinklers. its about 60 degrees outside. felt bad for the dog. calmed him down with peanut butter treat. looked in the window at the door next to the dog to see if anyone was awake. whoever lives here is trashy/a hoarder. garbage and nasty **** all over the floor inside. ALL OVER. i turn on the flashlight on my phone so i can see the patio better. the patio is covered in dog **** from however long the dog has been out. i knock on the door and the owner wont answer. i yell im not leaving so they might as well answer. a chick comes out high as hell with an attitude saying how can i help u.

i ask if its her dog, knowing its her dog. she says what dog? then changes her answer to i guess. shes completely off her ****, high as hell. i tell her to do something about her dog cuz its been barking all night and i know shes heard it. she says i shouldnt be worried about someone elses dog and its not my problem. i tell her the patio is literally covered in dog **** and if she doesnt bring her dog inside ill report her for abuse. she says "yea whatever. go be a d**k somewhere else. its 4 in the morning"

i reacted. i have no idea where it came from at all, ive never hit a woman. ever. but as a reaction i raised my hand to slap the teeth out of her mouth and stopped myself right before swinging down. i told her she has til noon to get all her stuff together or im calling it in anyways and she slammed the door then brought the dog inside.

on one hand, im pissed cuz im soaking wet from sprinkler water myself and its cold as hell. 2, its now 4 in the morning and her dog has been barking since like. 10pm. 3, her nonchalant attitude like she wasn't doing anything wrong and she was so inconsiderate. 4, the condition that poor dog was in. it was TERRIFIED of me and not because i was a stranger. terrified like for its life just cuz i walked up to it. i hate animal abuse and this is exactly what it looked like. all of that together plus her smart/dumb a** answers and for the first time ever i almost ike turnered a chick.

and i actually feel kinda bad that was my first instinct. still sticking to my guns tho, she has till noon and when i check again all of that mess better be handled.

 

[art vandelay]

Good on you for showing restraint fam, even better for showing compassion. I don't even like animals, I'm scared of 90% I come across, but I wouldn't mistreat them.