Can you tell me if this is grammatically correct?

[georgehimself]

There are too many run on sentences. You need to split up all of the different ideas with proper punctuation marks. It seems like you are trying to add too many "smart" words. You can say what you need to say, but be more concise. The words and ides could all flow better.

Did you turn this in for homework and it got picked apart by your teacher/professor?

You wrote:
"I'm a media and marketing professional, motivated by one question: why do people do what they do?"
This could be " As a media and marketing professional, I am constantly motivated by one question, "Why do people do what they do?""

You wrote:
" I'm always reading, constantly learning, and endlessly inquisitive about how the interaction between consumers, brands, and products continues to evolve."
Do you really need to say that you are "always reading, constantly learning and endlessly inquisitive?" Constantly learning and endlessly inquisitive are very similar, and both are more powerful than saying "always reading."
How about "I am fascinated by the evolution of consumer, brand and product interaction."

You wrote:
"Grounded in a foundation of strong writing skills, an attention to detail, and a collaborative working style, I pride myself on being a multifaceted thinker who can contribute in a variety of ways."

"Variety of ways?" Which ways? I guarantee whoever checks this will ask you that question.
How are you a "multifaceted" thinker? Also, think about the definition of "thinker." You just said you "pride yourself" on being an intellectual. Is that what you really wanted to say?
Try "My strong writing skills and attention to detail have contributed to my success in both individual and collaborative projects."

I know you really wanted grammar, but I just tried to help you have a stronger overall paragraph. 
I am sure I made my own errors, and its difficult to help not knowing your background and what you are writing it for.

Good luck.

 

[battousai701]

grammar ftw

 

[battousai701]

grammar ftw

 

[i am that dude]

You fell off this season bruh.

 

[i am that dude]

You fell off this season bruh.

 

[ac4three]

Do not take the above suggestions as "correct." A lot of this has to do with personal preference, and I disagree with some of the above suggestions. Anyway, I suggest the following:

I'm a media and marketing professional, motivated by one simple question: why do people do what they do? I'm constantly reading, learning, and inquiring into the rapidly evolving interaction between consumers, brands, and products. Grounded in a foundation of strong writing skills, an attention to detail, and a collaborative working style, I pride myself on being a multifaceted thinker who can contribute in a variety of ways.

 

[ac4three]

Do not take the above suggestions as "correct." A lot of this has to do with personal preference, and I disagree with some of the above suggestions. Anyway, I suggest the following:

I'm a media and marketing professional, motivated by one simple question: why do people do what they do? I'm constantly reading, learning, and inquiring into the rapidly evolving interaction between consumers, brands, and products. Grounded in a foundation of strong writing skills, an attention to detail, and a collaborative working style, I pride myself on being a multifaceted thinker who can contribute in a variety of ways.

 

[sn00pee]

Originally Posted by georgehimself

There are too many run on sentences. You need to split up all of the different ideas with proper punctuation marks. It seems like you are trying to add too many "smart" words. You can say what you need to say, but be more concise. The words and ides could all flow better.

Did you turn this in for homework and it got picked apart by your teacher/professor?

You wrote:
"I'm a media and marketing professional, motivated by one question: why do people do what they do?"
This could be " As a media and marketing professional, I am constantly motivated by one question, "Why do people do what they do?""

You wrote:
" I'm always reading, constantly learning, and endlessly inquisitive about how the interaction between consumers, brands, and products continues to evolve."
Do you really need to say that you are "always reading, constantly learning and endlessly inquisitive?" Constantly learning and endlessly inquisitive are very similar, and both are more powerful than saying "always reading."
How about "I am fascinated by the evolution of consumer, brand and product interaction."

You wrote:
"Grounded in a foundation of strong writing skills, an attention to detail, and a collaborative working style, I pride myself on being a multifaceted thinker who can contribute in a variety of ways."

"Variety of ways?" Which ways? I guarantee whoever checks this will ask you that question.
How are you a "multifaceted" thinker? Also, think about the definition of "thinker." You just said you "pride yourself" on being an intellectual. Is that what you really wanted to say?
Try "My strong writing skills and attention to detail have contributed to my success in both individual and collaborative projects."

I know you really wanted grammar, but I just tried to help you have a stronger overall paragraph. 
I am sure I made my own errors, and its difficult to help not knowing your background and what you are writing it for.

Good luck.

best answer

 

[sn00pee]

Originally Posted by georgehimself

There are too many run on sentences. You need to split up all of the different ideas with proper punctuation marks. It seems like you are trying to add too many "smart" words. You can say what you need to say, but be more concise. The words and ides could all flow better.

Did you turn this in for homework and it got picked apart by your teacher/professor?

You wrote:
"I'm a media and marketing professional, motivated by one question: why do people do what they do?"
This could be " As a media and marketing professional, I am constantly motivated by one question, "Why do people do what they do?""

You wrote:
" I'm always reading, constantly learning, and endlessly inquisitive about how the interaction between consumers, brands, and products continues to evolve."
Do you really need to say that you are "always reading, constantly learning and endlessly inquisitive?" Constantly learning and endlessly inquisitive are very similar, and both are more powerful than saying "always reading."
How about "I am fascinated by the evolution of consumer, brand and product interaction."

You wrote:
"Grounded in a foundation of strong writing skills, an attention to detail, and a collaborative working style, I pride myself on being a multifaceted thinker who can contribute in a variety of ways."

"Variety of ways?" Which ways? I guarantee whoever checks this will ask you that question.
How are you a "multifaceted" thinker? Also, think about the definition of "thinker." You just said you "pride yourself" on being an intellectual. Is that what you really wanted to say?
Try "My strong writing skills and attention to detail have contributed to my success in both individual and collaborative projects."

I know you really wanted grammar, but I just tried to help you have a stronger overall paragraph. 
I am sure I made my own errors, and its difficult to help not knowing your background and what you are writing it for.

Good luck.

best answer

 

[johnnyredstorm]

Originally Posted by georgehimself

There are too many run on sentences. You need to split up all of the different ideas with proper punctuation marks. It seems like you are trying to add too many "smart" words. You can say what you need to say, but be more concise. The words and ides could all flow better.

Did you turn this in for homework and it got picked apart by your teacher/professor?

You wrote:
"I'm a media and marketing professional, motivated by one question: why do people do what they do?"
This could be " As a media and marketing professional, I am constantly motivated by one question, "Why do people do what they do?""

You wrote:
" I'm always reading, constantly learning, and endlessly inquisitive about how the interaction between consumers, brands, and products continues to evolve."
Do you really need to say that you are "always reading, constantly learning and endlessly inquisitive?" Constantly learning and endlessly inquisitive are very similar, and both are more powerful than saying "always reading."
How about "I am fascinated by the evolution of consumer, brand and product interaction."

You wrote:
"Grounded in a foundation of strong writing skills, an attention to detail, and a collaborative working style, I pride myself on being a multifaceted thinker who can contribute in a variety of ways."

"Variety of ways?" Which ways? I guarantee whoever checks this will ask you that question.
How are you a "multifaceted" thinker? Also, think about the definition of "thinker." You just said you "pride yourself" on being an intellectual. Is that what you really wanted to say?
Try "My strong writing skills and attention to detail have contributed to my success in both individual and collaborative projects."

I know you really wanted grammar, but I just tried to help you have a stronger overall paragraph. 
I am sure I made my own errors, and its difficult to help not knowing your background and what you are writing it for.

Good luck.

This was the most confident and persuasive revision.

 

[johnnyredstorm]

Originally Posted by georgehimself

There are too many run on sentences. You need to split up all of the different ideas with proper punctuation marks. It seems like you are trying to add too many "smart" words. You can say what you need to say, but be more concise. The words and ides could all flow better.

Did you turn this in for homework and it got picked apart by your teacher/professor?

You wrote:
"I'm a media and marketing professional, motivated by one question: why do people do what they do?"
This could be " As a media and marketing professional, I am constantly motivated by one question, "Why do people do what they do?""

You wrote:
" I'm always reading, constantly learning, and endlessly inquisitive about how the interaction between consumers, brands, and products continues to evolve."
Do you really need to say that you are "always reading, constantly learning and endlessly inquisitive?" Constantly learning and endlessly inquisitive are very similar, and both are more powerful than saying "always reading."
How about "I am fascinated by the evolution of consumer, brand and product interaction."

You wrote:
"Grounded in a foundation of strong writing skills, an attention to detail, and a collaborative working style, I pride myself on being a multifaceted thinker who can contribute in a variety of ways."

"Variety of ways?" Which ways? I guarantee whoever checks this will ask you that question.
How are you a "multifaceted" thinker? Also, think about the definition of "thinker." You just said you "pride yourself" on being an intellectual. Is that what you really wanted to say?
Try "My strong writing skills and attention to detail have contributed to my success in both individual and collaborative projects."

I know you really wanted grammar, but I just tried to help you have a stronger overall paragraph. 
I am sure I made my own errors, and its difficult to help not knowing your background and what you are writing it for.

Good luck.

This was the most confident and persuasive revision.

 

[travis outlaw]

Originally Posted by AC4Three

Do not take the above suggestions as "correct." A lot of this has to do with personal preference, and I disagree with some of the above suggestions. Anyway, I suggest the following:

I'm a media and marketing professional, motivated by one simple question: why do people do what they do? I'm constantly reading, learning, and inquiring into the rapidly evolving interaction between consumers, brands, and products. Grounded in a foundation of strong writing skills, an attention to detail, and a collaborative working style, I pride myself on being a multifaceted thinker who can contribute in a variety of ways.

So you like the comma at the beginning? I kinda think it makes the sentence sound better, but is it matter of preference or just a grammatical mistake?

 

[travis outlaw]

Originally Posted by AC4Three

Do not take the above suggestions as "correct." A lot of this has to do with personal preference, and I disagree with some of the above suggestions. Anyway, I suggest the following:

I'm a media and marketing professional, motivated by one simple question: why do people do what they do? I'm constantly reading, learning, and inquiring into the rapidly evolving interaction between consumers, brands, and products. Grounded in a foundation of strong writing skills, an attention to detail, and a collaborative working style, I pride myself on being a multifaceted thinker who can contribute in a variety of ways.

So you like the comma at the beginning? I kinda think it makes the sentence sound better, but is it matter of preference or just a grammatical mistake?

 

[servechilled81]

lose the contractions

 

[servechilled81]

lose the contractions

 

[vietstar]

We've helped you with the grammar aspect of the paragraph like the original purpose of this thread intended. There are multiple ways to write the paragraph, so there isn't necessarily a right/wrong answer. I suggest you take the advice from georgehimself to make your paragraph "sound" more smooth.

 

[vietstar]

We've helped you with the grammar aspect of the paragraph like the original purpose of this thread intended. There are multiple ways to write the paragraph, so there isn't necessarily a right/wrong answer. I suggest you take the advice from georgehimself to make your paragraph "sound" more smooth.

 

[travis outlaw]

Originally Posted by VietStar

We've helped you with the grammar aspect of the paragraph like the original purpose of this thread intended. There are multiple ways to write the paragraph, so there isn't necessarily a right/wrong answer. I suggest you take the advice from georgehimself to make your paragraph "sound" more smooth.

Thanks. I appreciate your tips! Always trying to get better.

 

[travis outlaw]

Originally Posted by VietStar

We've helped you with the grammar aspect of the paragraph like the original purpose of this thread intended. There are multiple ways to write the paragraph, so there isn't necessarily a right/wrong answer. I suggest you take the advice from georgehimself to make your paragraph "sound" more smooth.

Thanks. I appreciate your tips! Always trying to get better.