Fuhhck...Uncle Lenny is drunk and talking football again...
NFCE
1. Eagles...I always liked Wentz since his Dakota days...fuggin Eagles fans in here be bugging me sometimes, but golly darn are they right about Howie...mofo is good with the technolololgical **** of the job and they're strong. Wentz gets **** but he's the ****. If he stays full health, it's a wrap for this division.
2. 'Skins...cause Case! Or Colt...one of them hobbits will win it. I just lost myself cause Colt got me remembering Rocky and Tumtum. Them 3 Ninjas was cold back in the day. Something about Gruden...Jay. idk.
3. Cowboys...they stupid. So much talent but the bad vibes with all the contract talk gonna mess em up. I think I had them being better, but **** it. The henny has spoken.
4. Giants - shabaladi dadi? Hih?
NFCS
1. Buccos!...that's the Buccaneers but saying it like mankind. Dammit I tell ya...Jameis will win this division with Bruce. He's a hella good coach.
2. Falcons. I dont really know. Refer to seeds 3 and 4 for why I guess.
3. Saints. Brees is slowly regressing. MT got paid, he's chilling and no Ingram. Murray looks like he runs tough, but that's only through the hole. Not physical like Ingram and nose ring boy ain't carrying the load all season. Bad for Breesness.
4. Panthers. They be weird. Next season I think they take the division based on trends from my mind, but what we know about Cams health? Nothin. Cmc is dope. Greg Olsen's octave annoys me.
747 tee time tomorrow...gonna be stumbling out my house like varsity blues to get my john daly on...maybe it'll be David wells. We shall see...
You dont know it, but that was my commercial break cause I had to pee..
NFCN:
1. Vikings...every other season with these ****s. Defense will be good...dudes better hustle though. Lollygagged so much last season. Kirk is going to light it up with efficiency...think that's an oxymoron? Remember oxi pads fo yo face? Haha
2. Bears. Defense still tough. Chalk it up to Mitchell. The last QB with that name in this division followed up a great year with a **** one. Still too talented to go away.
3. Lions...Stafford the stalwart. They can be tough. Strangely, I believe enough in Patricia to keep them competitive all season
4. Packers...who they got? Only thing that scares me is Rodgers and the new PI review rule. The new coach isn't simpatico with potato head and next season after they tank in this one is when they'll straighten up. But not today! Aaron Jones kinda might worry me but not reeaaallly.
NFCW
1. Rams....not a big believer, but they still got a squad and that krang brain homie as their HC.
2. 49ers...Do or die for shanny jr. I think the talent and development is another 1 or 2 seasons away, realistically, but urgency and fear of failing does something to folks.
3. Seahawks...you're move Pete...lotta young blood on the team with 2 top tier vets in russ and wags...not seeing nearly as many 12 flags around here...
wagon bander jump-offs
4. Cardinals....look...whatever, man. Let Kliff and Kyler live out their NFL dream for a season. I can root for them. Just not seeing Tyrion Murray and co. taking the Westeros division.
AFCN
1. Texans...Watson with full compliment of receivers, but pacifically Fuller byke. That's danger but I forget they're rb. Foreman was cut. But I digress cause Watson sucked *** last playoffs. That was dumb.
2. Colts. They'd be 1 but general captain **** a duck can't stay healthy. To date, he's Jeff George with a faux Twitter following...I reread that and I dont think it senses make eff it but no editing.
3. Titans. That **** Vrabel really believed Fisher when he told him the key to a playoff berth in Tennessse is with a mustache as a prereq....spelling prqyisite drunk is a problem. Damn phone dont even understand me.
4. Who am I missing here?
Losing steam like a mug right now...christ...hold up...refill!
I think I had something funny to say about one of the teams I just mentioned but I forgot...only thing I can remember is when a friend went acapella on a keyboard at my house one time in HS and used the phrase "the ripping winds." It was hilarious...I think you had to be there though...
AFCW
1. Chiefs...mahomes numbers slip a bit but too talented.
2. Raiders...harrrrddd knocks champs! Seriously, how can you not like Chucky?
3. Chargers...These stupid ****...the curse of stan Humphries is real
4. Broncos...they suck. Lindsay is the good along with sutton. But Flacco's doesn't aspire/perspire/inspire...pick the word that best defines the above...
AFCN
1. Steelers...defense gaining strength and the assumption is their losses will hurt but nah... Bell been gone and AB a weird little ****. Steelers football is that family on me, family on 3 bs...Tomlin and Benjamin will come together here with the kumbaya and ....completely lost train of thought but they'll be aight.
2. Browns?
muthhafukkin looks like it!...I guess?
3. Ravens...Lamar wont be enough. I look forward to seeing if he can progress as an NFL QB tough. His forehead might be too big though.
4. Bengals...I have to pee again so no time for this squad.
AFCE
1. Patriots...its basically an auto response at this point.
2. Jets....I feel like this process has made me discover how I can feel getting older...
3. Bills... because I dont want to ramble on anymore...I'm tired
4. Dolphins...pizza time!
Dante Pettis joins the ranks of the flamboyant
