Marriage - The name situation

[smedroc]

Interested to hear people's takes on this.

- Were you / would you want your partner to take on your surname?

- If you're going the double barrel route would both partner's make the change?

- Would you be cool with both of you keeping names as is?

 

[waukeganwill]

My wife floated the idea of keeping her last name and doing the hyphenated two last name thing when we were engaged. She couldnt give me a real reason on why, she just thought it looked cool lol

Me personally idgaf. If she woulda gave a meaningful reason then I woulda considered it but it was just something she saw online and ran with and admitted later on she was just talking. I told her I wasnt against it, but if we are actually going to subject ourselves to these social constructs, I would be against me taking on the assumed gender role responsibilities of a man/husband, but you cant take on the dropping of your last name and only having mine.

All silly in the grand scheme of things. I know a few older ladies that did the hyphen thing, most said because they wanted the last name to carry on since their father didnt have any boys. But Im indifferent on it man, doesnt matter either way.

 

[stuntman mike]

when my son was born, he had a hyphenated last name because my wife and i weren’t married. we tied the knot when he was one year old and my wife did all the paperwork to change her name and my son’s last name. we never discussed it and i let my wife handle it how she wanted to because i really didn’t care. we both discussed and chose my son’s first and middle name tho.

 

[Belgium]

Whatever she wants, I couldn't care less tbh.
Last names are pointless imo but if I was forced to choose, I'd probably prefer a hyphenated name if it isn't too long.
If she has a cool last name though I'd just go with whatever sounds best. Mine's a relatively long last name so something shorter would be preferable too.

One of my friends has the Dutch word for "lawyer" as her last name so obviously I'd want that instead of mine

 

[tr1ll]

Im the type of person that believe that if you're going to do something, do it all they way. If you're not going to go the name change, why even do the rest? There's nothing saying you have to be married for you relationship to be long term. Also, as a person that works in financing, they always think the hyphen is cute until its time to sign some paperwork.

 

[Belgium]

Im the type of person that believe that if you're going to do something, do it all they way. If you're not going to go the name change, why even do the rest? There's nothing saying you have to be married for you relationship to be long term. Also, as a person that works in financing, they always think the hyphen is cute until its time to sign some paperwork.

Yeah after a minute of extra thought, my last name is already 10 characters so I'd go with whatever sounds better and/or is shorter.
I don't care about marriage personally, I'd have to look into the tax benefits.

Your post reminded me of a while ago where I had to sign sworn statements for 61 individual bank transfers in a row and I wanted to blow my brains out

 

[adobecs4]

My wife never wanted to keep hers or hyphenate. It only gets tricky when introducing ourselves sometimes becusee I have a suffix on my name.

Im the type of person that believe that if you're going to do something, do it all they way. If you're not going to go the name change, why even do the rest? There's nothing saying you have to be married for you relationship to be long term. Also, as a person that works in financing, they always think the hyphen is cute until its time to sign some paperwork.

I agree with this 100%

 

[ghenges]

I think both people getting married should choose a new last name.

 

[MakeNTGreatAgain]

I think both people getting married should choose a new last name.

best idea yet

 

[kix2mny]

My wife kept her last name. My boys have my last name.

 

[BR0 MONTANA]

I prefer my wife to take my last name. It was never an issue with her. Plus I think it’s unique that my wife (Eritrean) has a Filipino last name.

 

[sooperhooper]

I remember a girl on fb stated that she would be hyphenating her name and there was a lot of discussion in the comments and it got slightly heated. She didn't even have a bf at the time. Fast forward a few years and she ends up taking her husband's last name.

 

[x Buddha Bless x]

Don’t get married.

Problem solved

 

[05fordgt]

I never cared & didn't want her to. When we finally got married (we were engaged for 6.5 years, have a house and it wasn't a necessity but we decided to do it) I didn't care she kept her maiden name. She was already established in her career so changing names would have been a PITA with her work and such. Personally I think it's an old fashioned & out-dated relic of an idea to change names.

 

[calibeebee]

Idgaf. I wouldn’t want her surname simply because it’s hard to spell and I don’t like that

 

[putting in work]

It was my last name... I wasn't doing the hyphen or her keeping her last name.

My last name is long, not common, and not an easy name to pronounce while hers was easy, common, and short.

I was not going to take her name though because I wanted my last name to carry on, but looking back it's whatever but I want my children to have my last name.

She has a friend that kept her last name as it was easier to pronounce I guess, and another that kept her last name... but the dude she married kept his family fortune hidden and like a year or two after they were married I guess it came out his family owned a Mason, brick, stone company and were worth like $30-50 million and she quickly made all necessary changes to take his last name and whatever his family deemed appropriate that a wife should. Shorty is a stay at home mom now and enjoys her life of carefree living lol.

 

[jape]

My wife wanted to hyphenate.
I said hell no.

If I have to buy the engagement ring, get on one knee, ask her mother and father for their blessing, have a wedding, and do all the traditional marriage stuff a man is expected to do, then the least she can do is go to the dmv and change her name.

This is one of the few topics I look to Kevin Samuels for guidance.

 

[tr1ll]

Dudes really be taking their wife's last name?

 

[you go boy]

I'm not married or engaged but my sister kept her ex-husbands last name... I asked why and she said because her son has the dads last name so she doesn't want to be inconsistent and change it...

 

[lauk4kicks]

Keeping her name is fine to me. I think its great cause it is part of her identity. Plus changing all government documents and professional designations, etc is a pain to change.

She originally wanted her name for the kids, but I compromised and suggested hypenation. She didn't liked the way it sounded (it rhymed lol) so kids got my last name.

side note: Some females at work changed their last names to their husbands. They recently got divorced and changed their names back.

 

[stuntman mike]

Dudes really be taking their wife's last name?

sounds like something ksteezy would do

 

[MakeNTGreatAgain]

sounds like something ksteezy would do

waiting for him to post a selfie as a resposne

 

[jaypesoz]

I prefer my wife to take my last name. It was never an issue with her. Plus I think it’s unique that my wife (Eritrean) has a Filipino last name.

Same. My wife's Greek and has my Filipino last name. It was never a question she'd be taking mine when we got married. Her e-mail is still her maiden name though but that doesn't matter to me. Plus, since I have a longer last name, so it works out for her there

 

[jaypesoz]

I'm not married or engaged but my sister kept her ex-husbands last name... I asked why and she said because her son has the dads last name so she doesn't want to be inconsistent and change it...

I think I heard that's what Lala's doing for her son with Melo, too. Or something similar.

 

[tr1ll]

I think thats what most mother who remarry do. Unless they just really, REALLY hate the first husband.