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on august 1, 2010 i told my best friend that i was gay. it's the first time those words had come out of my mouth except in front of a mirror.
today is july 31, 2011... almost a year to the day later, and i find myself in the same position. this time at the kitchen table of my parents' house. they're the last to know.
but it's time.
at the ripe age of 33, i've punished myself more than enough. and then some.
the moment has played over and over in my head. what will i say? what will they say? what will they do?
a lull in the conversation. so i dig in and muster all the courage i can find.
"i wanted to talk to you guys about something...."
and then i just say it.
the words come out clumsily, heart pounding through my shirt, tears flooding my cheeks.
in the movies, there's always an orchestra playing at this moment. it crescendos through the boy's last word lending strength to a quivering voice.
but not in my parents' kitchen. just a groundswell of emotion.
questions. confusion. guilt. sympathy.
and, ultimately... acceptance.
-----------------------------------------
i'd be lying if i said this post wasn't somewhat self-serving. it's been an emotional day, and writing about it helps some. there have been a lot of threads recently about homosexuality, ranging from the gay marriage debate to the civil rights comparison. this isn't about that. nor is it a request for approval. i can only imagine there are people on this very board who have feelings they can't put a name to or don't quite understand. please know that you are welcome to PM me anytime. strictly confidential.
in the public arena, this forum could use an honest and frank discussion about homosexuality. i'm not sure this thread is the vehicle for that, but recent events have brought the issue to the forefront. how will you react when your son tells you he is gay?
today is july 31, 2011... almost a year to the day later, and i find myself in the same position. this time at the kitchen table of my parents' house. they're the last to know.
but it's time.
at the ripe age of 33, i've punished myself more than enough. and then some.
the moment has played over and over in my head. what will i say? what will they say? what will they do?
a lull in the conversation. so i dig in and muster all the courage i can find.
"i wanted to talk to you guys about something...."
and then i just say it.
the words come out clumsily, heart pounding through my shirt, tears flooding my cheeks.
in the movies, there's always an orchestra playing at this moment. it crescendos through the boy's last word lending strength to a quivering voice.
but not in my parents' kitchen. just a groundswell of emotion.
questions. confusion. guilt. sympathy.
and, ultimately... acceptance.
-----------------------------------------
i'd be lying if i said this post wasn't somewhat self-serving. it's been an emotional day, and writing about it helps some. there have been a lot of threads recently about homosexuality, ranging from the gay marriage debate to the civil rights comparison. this isn't about that. nor is it a request for approval. i can only imagine there are people on this very board who have feelings they can't put a name to or don't quite understand. please know that you are welcome to PM me anytime. strictly confidential.
in the public arena, this forum could use an honest and frank discussion about homosexuality. i'm not sure this thread is the vehicle for that, but recent events have brought the issue to the forefront. how will you react when your son tells you he is gay?
